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false idol
Contributed by
xianthe
on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 05:45:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
you caught me mid - flight
spun it on its hairless head
dazed it so it could not crawl
deeper into my undead.
you struck a match
put lipstick on the nightmare.
but this little tear cannot be fixed with a patch.
i tried to keep it going, this feeling so rare
You stabbed it, punched it, kicked it
until i was left carrying the bloody weight.
it seemed a fleeting dream by which i had been hit
it caused a tear where you had managed to infiltrate.
I am here. stuck in a ditch of dreams, my own limbo.
the sides to high to climb, no wings to fly.
i will wait for another thorny saviour
to caress my ruby stone, to bring in a beam.
i wait with your touch still tickilish like torture.
a hand passes now and again
never a grip strong enough for my anguish.
my only painkiller wears thin,
my pen so strong and lustrous
when my voice looses it flair
its point reamains poisoned and ferocious.
Beware, you, it seeks a symmetrical tear.
Copyright ©
xianthe
... [
2003-12-08 17:45:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: false idol
(User Rating: 1 )
by MrWrite on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 06:47:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| The rhyming was a bit forced at times, but then again you may have wrote it that way purposely. Strong words promoting a strong message. Well done. |
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Re: false idol
(User Rating: 1 )
by irshprnss on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 08:31:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, great write. I liked the strong rhyming it gave it more charater!
Diana |
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