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Death of the roses
Contributed by
Cobalt
on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 01:10:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
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Blackened roses lay broken
at my feet with bloodied thorns.
Shattered dreams and broken hopes.
Poetic proses still lacking
just what the words should show.
Crying bloody tears that
just make me choke.
Snorting coke and pounding shots
Vainly trying to get your voices
out of my heart, head, and soul.
Falling to my knees again,
'cause I'm feeling my mind try to flee.
Trying to rip my hair out
screaming at the top of my lungs
shaking and shivering tasting blood.
Burning skin and shed blood.
Cuts and burns won't ease the pain
No release and no escape
just failed attempts
at life and redemption.
The book of the faulty phoenix.
Copyright ©
Cobalt
... [
2003-12-08 01:10:09] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 01:20:40 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi friend,
Thanks for explaining. I'd say you captured your subject well.
peace, joy, lvu,
emy |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by LovingWhispers on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 01:31:04 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I dont think there is a line here that didnt pull me in and blow me away..especially these ones...
"Blackened roses lay broken
at my feet with bloodied thorns.
Shattered dreams and broken hopes.
Poetic proses still lacking
just what the words should show.
Crying bloody tears that
just make me choke."
Deeply awesome..
Theres a strength in you that defies hopelessness and giving in.
Excellent!
LW (the "larrikin"..spelling?) lol |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by PhantomVampyress on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 01:40:35 AM AEST (User
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this is a beautiful poem and a great write.. you can feel the emotion and Im sure everyone can relate to the thoughts of this at one point in their lives or another.. great job!!
peace and joy
JENNA |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by secretwind on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 02:03:16 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I KNOW THAT TIMELESS WASTEFUL PLACE,TASTING BLOOD BURNING SKIN....WELL DONE.
THE WIND............ |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 06:35:21 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very well done, Jeff....Thanks for the note...
Great write.
Jenni |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 12:34:49 PM AEST (User
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ive read this several times and your title, which is excellent, keeps drawing me back to this addicting poem, i still do not know exactly what i love about it and will only say that i truely do:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by lovingcritters on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 01:01:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Dear Colbalt, I will not waste any words with you. I find this poem absolutely divine...in that I can't stand suicide or anything related to, but this poem to me was fine. You took it to a level I could not help but understand, and through that emotion...with yourhelping hand...I could stand back and watch the makings of a masterpiece in prose....Colbalt you have out done your self in this one.
Did you know that the Christ sweat blood..there is a medical condition where when a person is put under extreme stress they actually sweat blood. I thought of this when I read your poem.
ROSES without thorns...Colbalt wish I could be there in the theatre and hear you read this.I'd insist on an encore!
warm love
ConSue
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 03:15:57 PM AEST (User
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This is an absolutely excellent poem. You know what came across to me? That you have a massive amount of inner strength. You also express yourself very well.
Great job-
Kie |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by NikkiMNelson on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 07:23:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very beautiful.
Nicely explained.
Very good talent!!
~*~Nikki~*~ |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cynthia on
Monday, 8th December 2003 @ 07:51:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Really good write.
You picked a good choice of words to descibe this.
Very emotional.
*S* |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 9th December 2003 @ 10:38:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow.. that's some write.. sad though. |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by eternal_sorrows on
Saturday, 13th December 2003 @ 08:02:37 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nice write and beautiful imagery! I live the title you have chosen here. I like your work!
ES |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 17th December 2003 @ 07:29:10 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi my name is oldephebe - That first line..."blackened roses lay broken at my feet"
can i just say the sound of slow malevolent kisses of corruption beneath soft skin have never sounded so...ecstatically desolate to me..sure suicide is not good..but drinking in the power of someone's heart ache..the old anguish angst and albatross crushing up against the delicate steel of a beautiful clavicle..now that supremely rendered is Art..I can't wait to read more of your stuff...sure most of what i say is tongue in cheek but your words really got to me..and i guess sheathing my foppy gushing in the skien of extravagent and sardonic wordplay makes it more palatable to me...whatever..sistah girl you got skills..
sincerely oldephebe |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by Necromant on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 06:07:21 AM AEST (User
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Beautyful in every aspect. Wow |
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Re: Death of the roses
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 02:14:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wonderful write. Loved it. |
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