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AUTUMN TREE
Contributed by
MALCOLM9
on
Friday, 5th December 2003 @ 12:41:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Fall
Falling
Falling down
Can't you
Can't you hear the sound
The sound of my radiant tears
As they twirl to the ground?
Leaving me bare
To the dark
Winter winds
That howl like my sorrow
To the land
And to the world below
Copyright ©
MALCOLM9
... [
2003-12-05 00:41:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: AUTUMN TREE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Yodo on
Friday, 5th December 2003 @ 12:50:52 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Falling... It's always brings a sense of loss. Wow, this was a great poem. I think you found some good words that capture lots of depth of feeling. Radiant tears leaps out at me, the most. If this was a picture, I'd bet the tears would somehow be the focus. The fact that tears don't make loud noises and likening that to sorrow gives a sense of hidden or deep pain that's too hard to let out, but longing so hard to tell someone.
I'd be trite and say, "Good job!" but wonderful is a much better word. |
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Re: AUTUMN TREE
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Friday, 5th December 2003 @ 02:33:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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BRAVO! BRAVO! What a splendid write. Who would ever think of tear as leaves....and sorrow that cleaves down to the earth. This is a beautiful , and inspiring write...so few words and rhymed just righ!
Lovingcritters
ConSue
Roses replace the leaves
at your feet!
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