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LONELY HEART (Tanka)
Contributed by
Del
on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 11:14:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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My heart needs someone
To love thru eternity
Right now it's lonely
It could love someone like you
Give my heart a chance, please do
Copyright ©
Del
... [
2003-11-30 23:14:27] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: LONELY HEART (Tanka)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Poetic_justice101 on
Tuesday, 4th May 2004 @ 12:09:42 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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too short
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Re: LONELY HEART (Tanka)
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 10:09:51 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I found this lovely, heartwarming and very endearing.
For the imbeciles out there who think this IS too short, a Tanka (or Japanese verse) is composed of 5 lines of :
5 syllables
then
7 syllables
then
5 syllables
then two successive lines of 7 syllables
If it rhymes (like this does) then its a good Tanka. If it doesn't, then it doesn't really matter..
Thanks for making my trip through November 2003's archive well worth the effort, Del.
Keep writing. |
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