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Traitor
Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 04:13:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Burn the river in this dreaming
I have no breath left for screaming
Only Satan hears this beating
Of a fractured heart in smashing
I'm so pathetic in this scarring
Jarred with broken notes for stabbing
I dream a little more of dying
For a chance to kill this raging
Do you taste me in your breathing
Sick and tired of this lying?
I've got no mind left for playing
By the time we move to morning
They will find you dry, decaying.
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2003-11-30 04:13:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 04:20:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Amazing... you wrote your poem with only one kind of rhming scheme! Great!
P.S: Since you asked me when my next poem is coming out, it's already posted here :-) CYA!! |
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 06:45:42 AM AEST
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Wow deep...great write.
Emma. |
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 09:45:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You displayed the anger you feel inside well. I enjoyed reading this poem.
Kie |
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 10:27:55 AM AEST
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| Whoa, serious anger. I like it . |
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 30th November 2003 @ 10:36:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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EXCELLENT.
THE WIND... |
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th January 2004 @ 07:15:02 AM AEST
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| So much anger and hostility in your words. Every word ripped my heart out. Excellent work! |
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Re: Traitor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Crash on
Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 02:13:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I can really feel your anger towards this person. The last few lines gave me a mental image. Scary yet beautifully written |
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