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The Ripper
Contributed by
doug
on
Saturday, 22nd November 2003 @ 11:13:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
the bloated moon was burning hot crimson in the sky
the sticky flies are buzzing , another victim dies
hes feeding on the power and never mercy shows
she was young and innocent but thats just how it goes
he must kill again, the thrill of murder fading
he knows no right or wrong just the savagry of hating
hes begging to be caught to brag of what hes done
the night is growing long, he spots another one
he stalks her through the streetlights and comes upon her quickly
she is easy prey now for she is pale and sickly
at the height of his arousal, a dirty rusty blade
he rips into her belly, bathed in bloody hate
the blood drips from his teeth, he wipes it with his sleeve
the sickness of his actions you cannot believe
he slips into the night, his victim cold and blue
he'll be coming back , he'll be wacthing you
Copyright ©
doug
... [
2003-11-22 11:13:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Ripper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Saturday, 22nd November 2003 @ 12:11:40 PM AEST
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| The most awful poem I have ever read. Don't get me wrong this is meant as a compliment. |
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Re: The Ripper
(User Rating: 1 )
by mckayla on
Saturday, 22nd November 2003 @ 01:43:40 PM AEST
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Wow.....Pretty Scarey!!! Thanks for sharing it!!!
Great write
mckayla |
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Re: The Ripper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aika on
Saturday, 22nd November 2003 @ 03:44:04 PM AEST
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scary, really.. But great writing! I liked it:-) aika:-)
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Re: The Ripper
(User Rating: 1 )
by 13Hopes on
Sunday, 23rd November 2003 @ 09:11:45 AM AEST
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Sends a shiver down my spine, i had to read it again... :)
Great write, great read....
Cheers,
#13
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Re: The Ripper
(User Rating: 1 )
by krismisevski on
Tuesday, 25th November 2003 @ 09:35:01 AM AEST
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This is an interesting poem. "the bloated moon was burning hot crimson" Great first line, although "in the sky" seems a given, where else would it be?
Perhaps:
'the bloated moon was burning hot crimson, drawing flies' Just a suggestion.
Liked the poem overall. I wrote a short, whimsical poem titled 'Jack Was A Ripper' on the same subject with a similar ending. Check it out.
-Kris |
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Re: The Ripper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Voyager on
Wednesday, 15th December 2010 @ 05:05:47 AM AEST
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| great point-of-view poem....looked thru the eyes of the RIPPER! |
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