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Ghost Dance
Contributed by
Eve
on
Thursday, 20th November 2003 @ 07:44:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I'm alone with the voices
Of the stereo playing
They're the ones comforting me
While I'm sitting here decaying.
Put on a dress, twirl,
Adjust to that fake smile
I'm trying to feel pretty
Haven't felt this way in a while.
Blur of mixed emotion,
You wouldn't even see my tears.
Running down so quickly,
You couldn't possibly sense my fears.
Get off of my lethargic feet
And they decide to dance,
I don't know how but I rythmically
Fall into this trance.
Let myself let go
Spin into imaginary arms
I know the ghost is always there
I don't feel alarmed.
Blur of mixed emotion,
You wouldn't even see my tears.
Running down so quickly,
You couldn't possibly sense my fears.
Ghostly dance continues,
Energy starts to fade away.
The room spinning around me
Listless motley array.
Fall onto the ground,
Lifted hand without motion,
Reaching out for help,
But on comes the ocean.
Blur of mixed emotion,
I know you can see my tears,
Running down so quickly
You could see straight through my fears.
Copyright ©
Eve
... [
2003-11-20 19:44:01] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ghost Dance
(User Rating: 1 ) by ArdRi79 on
Thursday, 20th November 2003 @ 09:02:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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the way that you never deviated from the the rhyming structure the whole way through gives the feeling of the trance well, almost a monotony, in a good way lol |
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Re: Ghost Dance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 21st November 2003 @ 07:53:44 AM AEST (User
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Exquisitly written, deeply emotional, almost overwhelming. Truly an artwork. |
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Re: Ghost Dance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 20th March 2004 @ 09:46:07 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ethereally mirrors its context.
Good job. |
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Re: Ghost Dance
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 08:02:39 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hmn. If I didn't know any better, I'd say your poems were suggestive to me. That's two titles i've written of the same name as yours . . . *grins* and the coincedence is that I have been directed to your work (again) by Shadowdaughter's suggestion . . . for a proposal that I hope you can accept for a rework (of sorts) of a poem of the very same name as this . . .
And no, I didn't just go out and take the title - there is a definitive gap between my previous comment and my poem submission. Strange that it should require my 1188th comment, too (a resonant number of mine).
Anyway - this poem is still good enough for me to pm you the details as they are gathered. Thanks for the (unconscious) inspiration . . . |
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