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ravens don't look back
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 12:14:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
the wind blew your dark hair back
and ate your tears before they could fall
the moon hung low, like a pale halo
indifferent to the loss it's light revealed
you gave your reasons, i gave lame responses
and tired phrases to keep you here
but, you laughed into the night
swaying on the cliff's jagged edge
you muttered, "ravens don't look back"
i never understood what that meant
two hours passed
marked by sighs and rolled eyes
as i grew tired of talking you down
if you were so set
then get it over with
i was cold and i wanted a cigarette
as dawn's dead light
bathed your back in red
i'd had enough of your game
i bluntly asked, "do you really want to die?"
without hesitation, you whispered, "yes"
i stepped up behind you and drew you close
i held you one last time
through clenched teeth i said,
"i love you,...well,... i used to love you
but i can't keep doing this"
you made a confused sound
and i think you were about to say something else
when i pushed you over the edge
you spread your arms wide
and for a moment
i thought you would fly
up and away
from the pain that held you
but, in the end, you just dropped like stone
i didn't hear a splat or thud
i just saw your body jerk and explode as you hit the rocks below
and i knew it was over
for someone who wanted to die so badly
you screamed like a baby, the whole way down
i turned and headed back to the car
the wind gently pushing me down the path
and the whole way to the car
all i could think of
was how good that cigarette was going to taste
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2003-11-16 12:14:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 12:19:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Disturbingly beautiful. Even better the second time you read it. I . . . well, I don't know if 'liked' is the word . . . I was drawn and intrigued and interested and scared (I guess) by this. Nice job. |
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 02:06:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
WOW !
the picture was so cleared as I read your word here..so you will go back and smoke that cig....lol...cute..good write....very good write....sandy |
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by mercedes on
Monday, 17th November 2003 @ 12:43:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I read this 3 times and still am not sure what i think of it. It is a good write but leaves me with comflicting feelings. |
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Monday, 17th November 2003 @ 01:59:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sorry mate but I have to comment. This was really good. I thought it was amusing and ironic.
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Monday, 17th November 2003 @ 04:14:33 AM AEST
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The title is beautiful. The irony is perfect.
But damn you're morbid. |
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 17th November 2003 @ 02:01:07 PM AEST
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Lol the irony in this so funny, but disturbing great write as usual although this had a slightly different tone from what u usually write I can't quite place it. Good job man...
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: ravens don't look back
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Saturday, 29th November 2003 @ 04:40:09 PM AEST
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how did i now you would push?????
brilliance all the way down to the rocks below.... |
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