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Unsure
Contributed by
ToriVeigh
on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 02:31:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
Once again I am unsure
I don’t know what to feel
Are the feelings I have pure
Or are they even real?
I‘d hate to think we couldn’t give
But only could we take
Never could our hearts thrive
If it all were fake
I want to know that I don’t imagine
What I think I’ve seen in your eyes
Something I can’t clearly define
But would definitely be worth a try
I think this could go either way
Breathtaking ecstasy or bitter rage
No one can really say
It’s up to us to turn the page
Only a few things do I doubt not:
The pain you could inflict,
If with me you ever fought
And the hope it’s not a cruel trick
For by you I want to be caught
My feelings are tainted by fear
I hope this I can change
To you, I just want to be near
And protect you from any pain
By this I think it safe to say
That I’m in love with you
Break my heart you may
Because these feelings are true
What feelings have you for me?
Could your feelings be pure?
Should I give you my heart’s key?
Three things of which I’m unsure
Copyright ©
ToriVeigh
... [
2003-11-16 02:31:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Unsure
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 02:39:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very beautifull!
this should melt any one's heart!
good luck!
peace, joy, luv,
emy |
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Re: Unsure
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmSal on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 03:23:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well you know your feelings are real, you just have to find out if the one you love loves you too. Not easy but usually worth it. Great write. All the best.
Emma. |
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Re: Unsure
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Sunday, 16th November 2003 @ 04:03:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Fantastic rhyming. There are some excellent metaphors in there. On the other hand, the way you play with grammatical sentences--interesting, but not fluent. The beat is also lost one a few occasions. And with talent like yours, i'd say you should find harder words to rhyme.
Anyway, good job. but that's what everyone says.
"Little lying dandelions romp upon the grass; Making meals of baby seals and interrupting class." ~The Muse ofTime, Eternity's Lyre |
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Re: Unsure
(User Rating: 1 )
by michelled43 on
Thursday, 20th November 2003 @ 01:08:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write.....describes your feelings perfect.....i really can relate to this poem.... |
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