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I cut again tonight...

Contributed by lostforgood on Tuesday, 7th October 2003 @ 11:52:22 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



I cut again tonight
I'm really not sure why
As I sat here by myself
I didn't feel alone or sad
Or even that the world is bad
I just felt blank and saw the knife
Picked it up and cut six times
Something must be there inside
To make me do this nasty thing
But what could it be?
I can't believe I cut tonight
The knife just seemed to go on its own
I don't even remember feeling it at all
But I can see it's done
By the trickle of blood running down my side
It makes me feel so empty
Not painful not good not anything at all
Is that right?
Oh well, what's done is done
I cannot change it now
Although I wonder how many there are now
251?
That must be it..




Copyright © lostforgood ... [ 2003-10-07 23:52:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: I cut again tonight... (User Rating: 1 )
by EmSal on Wednesday, 8th October 2003 @ 06:12:48 AM AEST
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Whoah I hope that you are not doing this out of habit...doesn't sound too good. An excellent poem for sure...althought quite painfully sad. Take care.

Emma.


Re: I cut again tonight... (User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on Wednesday, 8th October 2003 @ 08:48:44 PM AEST
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as i read your poem i pictured you .many things goes on in your life a apart of you wishes you wasnt in it.you know i really cant say word to you to make you see that doing this is wrong...i wish with all my heart that i can find you and shake you and tell you DONT...i wish i can tell you that every thing in your life will be roses i cant tell you anything that you may or wish to hear.BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE IN TO THE THOUGHTS BECAUSE SEE WHEN THE THOUGHTS ENTER IN YOU NEED TO STOP THEM RIGHT THEN..BECAUSE IF YOU DONT THE THOUGHTS GET HEAVY AND THEN IT GOES TO YOUR HEART ONCE THERE THEN YOU DO THE DEED...THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT SIN IN THIS WAY....ONCE SIN IS STARTED AT THE THINKING AND THEN ITS THERE FOR SO LONG YOU CANT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT IT AND SO IT GOES TO YOUR HEART AND THERE YOU DID IT....I LIKE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH IT MAKES GOD CRY WHEN HE SEES YOU DOING THIS...SEE THE DEVIL PLAYS MANY TRICKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU...HE DONT KNOW YOUR FUTURE..HE WANTS TO DESTROY IT.SEE HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT MAKES YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF AND HE PUSHES THAT BUTTON FOR YOU TO DO IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HIT SOMETHING BAD AND IT KILLS YOU...WILL MAKE HIM REALLY HAPPEN THEN...WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH HE DIED ON THE CROSS..HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU HEARD THIS...HAS IT SUNK IN.SEE...MANY YEARS AGO SINCE THE FALL OF MAN GOD HAD TO MAKE A PLAN FOR ALL OF US TO COME CLOSE TO HIM AGAIN...AND HE LOVED US SO MUCH HE GAVE US HIS SON TO DIE FOR OUR SINS..LONG TIME AGO BEFORE THIS PEOPLE WOULD KILL ANIMALS AND OFFER THEM ON AN ALTAR FOR FORGIVENESS BUT JESUS DIED ONE TIME ONLY FOR ALL SINS....HE WANTED TO STOP THE DIEING ON THE CROSS FOR ONE MOMENT AND CRIED SO HARD IT WAS BLOOD.THEN HE SAID FATHER YOUR WILL.WILL BE DONE..SO HE LOOKED AHEAD AND SAW YOU AND ME KNOWING WHAT WE WILL DO AND HAVE DONE AND SAID IM DIEING FOR THEM CAUSE I LOVE THEM...AND HE DID...YOUR THOUGHTS ARE HURTING YOU.THE DEVIL PUTS THE THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND.NOW THE THING TO DO IS ...SAY FATHER HELP ME NOT LISTEN TO MY MIND...DIRECT MY THOUGHTS LORD..BUT I WILL TELL YOU...THE DEVIL KNOWS THAT HE KNOWS THAT YOU PRAY THIS AND HE WILL WORK HARDER AND HARDER ON YOU..BUT EACH STEP AND EACH STEP GETS EASIER AND EASIER WHEN YOU SAY NO THE FIRST TIME..AND WHEN YOU SAY NO ENOUGH THE DEVIL CANT BOTHER YOU WITH THIS ANYMORE........BUT HE WILL FIND ANOTHER BUTTON TO PUSH...BUT GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN YOU...THEN HE IS IN THE WORLD...ASK JESUS IN YOUR HEART.LET HIM HELP YOU..AND HE WILL BE THERE....TAKE CARE...LOVE SANDY


Re: I cut again tonight... (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Thursday, 9th October 2003 @ 05:18:19 PM AEST
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This was so good and it struck me so hard because its a place where I've been at so many different times. Read the previous comment and apply it to your life its something I've tried to do... While cutting isn't necessarily 'wrong' or 'sinful' its an addiction that drags you down and seeks to destroy you, but like any addiction it CAN be beaten. I haven't cut in about 3 months now if I can do that so can you you need to be strong hang in there and keep on writing like this. Best of luck pm me if u want.

Peace,
Joel (Bobo)




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