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Bulimic
Contributed by
hazelnut
on
Friday, 26th September 2003 @ 07:45:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
She flipped through magazines, sighing wistfully at the model's waif-like figure
She pinched at her tummy as she appraised herself in the mirror
She loved to eat
and staying slim was no easy feat
So self conscious was she about her body
She became depressed and moody
Then a wicked idea came into her mind
If she regurgitated her food, wouldn't that be fine?
That way, she could taste her food
But the food wouldn't go down the way it should
So no extra fat would be gained
Sweets, chocolate and all that junk food need not be refrained
Her first time, she locked the bathroom door
And stood by the toilet bowl, staring at the floor
Her stomach was filled after a binge
Throwing up should be a cinch
She had seen enough girls
In her school toilet, bent double, watched them hurl
Sticking a finger down her throat
She thought of how she'd gloat
When she achieved her ideal figure
When she could slip into hipsters and the slinkiest numbers, feeling confident and sure
Up came the bile and she vomitted
Holding her breath at the stench emitted
But soon she'll get used to the stink
As hours accumulated by the sink
Running water, she learnt, covered up sounds of her regurgitating
Into her own shell she found herself shrinking
She didn't realise she had gone overboard
How malnourished she had become, against her protuding ribcage, her skin pulled taut
She suffered from fainting spells, her weight continued to drop
She wanted to, but didn't know how to stop
She was no longer obsessed about her weight
But the nausea and the churning of her stomach did not abate
Throwing up came naturally after every meal
It was almost a routine she successfully concealed
Too afraid to seek help or treatment
At her own stupidity she would lament
She closed her eyes on her bed, feeling lethargic
Exhausted of being bulimic
She wondered fleetingly why her parents failed to notice her being unhealthily thin
Were they too busy working to care? Too wrapped up in their own skin?
They found her the next day in a coma
From which she did not wake, the fight was over
As she lay in the hospital ward, she seemed almost peaceful
Her face belied all the lies, pain and struggle
Copyright ©
hazelnut
... [
2003-09-26 19:45:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bulimic
(User Rating: 1 )
by tinka_belle on
Friday, 26th September 2003 @ 09:10:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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look i dont want to sound like a ***** or anything but have u ever had bulimia?
coz if u have ud know that its not about being thin
nor is anorexia
its allabout suppressing the things that hurt u
by being in control of what u eat u have that little bit of control over yourself that allows you to keep fighting this thing thats hurting you
and with bulimia when u binge its not "ok if i eat and then throw up its ok coz the food wont actually be inside me" a binge is eating as much food as u can till you feel sick but the food thats going in in your mind isnt food its all the hurt and pain thats going inside you coz someone or something is hurting u and then by throwing it up
its another way of controling the pain the hurt
coz by throwing it all up the evil isnt inside fo you anymore
and for a moment
you actually feel happy
until the adrenilin wears off and ur back where you stared again
and the whole idea of being thin
its not influenced by the models in the magazines
its being thin enough to disapear
if im tiny no one will hurt me
coz they'd be scared i would break....
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Re: Bulimic
(User Rating: 1 )
by hazelnut on
Saturday, 18th October 2003 @ 05:13:49 AM AEST
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tinka_belle,
true, i never had bulimia before. that was why i used the third person's point of view in my poem. i would like to point out that i have read articles or reports in which eating disorders are caused by body image distortion. one of the contributing factors is the bombardment of images of models, celebs etc...all beautiful and slim. and it doesnt help that there are so many slimming ads popping up in the newspapers[ at least in my country]
however, thanks for widening my perception and enlightening me about another side of bulimia. |
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