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I am a child
Contributed by
Kimmie_mac
on
Saturday, 30th August 2003 @ 10:25:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChildrensPoetry
|
Please don’t hurt me, let me be,
I am a child can’t you see.
I am innocent of all things living,
I am loving and forgiving.
Don’t break me down before I grow,
Because I have seeds yet to sow.
Don’t plant bad seeds inside of me,
Think of me like a tree -
You give me love - I grow strong.
You give me understanding - I know wrong.
You give me tenderness - I can bend,
When storms come rumbling in.
You give me courage - my limbs will sprout,
Gone are all my self-doubt.
With these ingredients I can stand on my own,
Without these ingredients I can’t make it alone.
So when you see a broken down tree,
When you hurt me - that could be me.
Copyright ©
Kimmie_mac
... [
2003-08-30 22:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I am a child
(User Rating: 1 )
by Crow on
Saturday, 30th August 2003 @ 10:58:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love this, a wonderful write. such a warm simple truth. Crow |
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Re: I am a child
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Sunday, 31st August 2003 @ 04:52:01 AM AEST
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a child's creed
everyone should heed.....
proud and strong....descriptive....warning with compassion..... |
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Re: I am a child
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Sunday, 31st August 2003 @ 11:43:06 AM AEST
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Oh, my dear Kimmie,
I just enjoyed your poem so much!
Fellow feeling, the human touch.
Little ones have so few needs,
Big ones need only to teach them deeds.
Little ones need comfort and love,
God has each one covered from above,
But he gave parents arms to hug,
Not to slap or to slug....
For like your little sappling tree.....
If it's not nurtured, will bend with a breeze.
Parents are a little ones whole world...
As they grow it will leave an impression to be kept, or hurled!
lovingcritters
Connie |
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Re: I am a child
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoloRM on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2003 @ 05:26:15 AM AEST
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| I loved this write very much, just beautiful. |
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Re: I am a child
(User Rating: 1 )
by krismisevski on
Saturday, 6th September 2003 @ 06:44:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like how you've captured the rhythm of a child. The line:
"When storms come rumbling in" sounds more adult. Not something a child would probably say.
The last line also breaks the rhythm for me. It's the 'me-me' thing. Other than that I think it's a very fine poem, perhaps just a tiny bit of fine tuning.
-Kris |
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