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death is only the beginning
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Thursday, 28th August 2003 @ 12:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
red gives way to white
as the wound bleeds itself dry
for so long, i was convinced that this would end it
for so long, i was ignorant to the permanence of pain
ignorant to the everlasting scars
that mere physical death cannot erase
i thought this was the answer all along
lying in the forest
the bullet lodged in my brain
all vital signs will swear i'm dead
but, my mind ticks on, oblivious to such things
replaying the past
taunting with a future i can no longer have
just carrying on with business
i think no new thoughts
no new sensations are revealed to me
i cannot move, nor stimulate my brain
so it merely replays ever past pain
every sorrow, every loss, every moment of guilt
every reason that i did this in the first place
no happy memories surface
i can recall no joy from life, though i'm sure there was some
so i endure the same blooper reel of agony
over and over and over
from every angle and point of view imaginable
and eventually, new horrors and trials are thrown in
and they somehow sting worse
than the ones that really happened
days and nights pass, like they always have
and my unclosing eyes stare at the sky
bugs and coyotes pick at my body
in my head, i scream at them to leave me be
but, my lips don't move, i make no sound
i just lie there and decompose
as i rot, i wonder what she's doing now
i wonder if she's worried about me yet
or if she's even noticed i'm gone
i wonder why in the hell i did this in the first place
it should have been so obvious
the brain will not yield to the heart's cessation
time passes, (though i'm not sure how much
who cares what time it is when you're dead?)
my brain decays into a thick jelly
and oozes out the holes that have been chewed in my head
my memories, my deepest thoughts and fears
drip out, unremarkably, onto the forest floor
each particle of grey matter is a piece of me
even as the smaller ones are whisked away with the breeze
i am with them, i am part of them
as i am a part of the remaining pool of brain
that hardens on the soil beneath my head
seeing with a thousand "third eyes"
living beings cannot achieve such madness
(i pray madly, with each part of my divided brain
to any god that will hear me
"let me go back, let me take this back
even if only to prolong this a bit longer
let me go back and eat a stick of dynamite
so that my brain will be destroyed"
but, no god's hear my words
no forgiving angel appears to cleanse my tears
and i lie on the grass, unable even to cry)
seasons pass, but the brain trudges on
in a most horrifically distorted fashion
being separated, unsheltered in the elements
and with Nothing but the same stimulation
it begins to eat and regurgitate itself with a savagery
that could be likened only to a self-destructing cancer
finally, after uncounted time,
my universal consciousness dims
and i experience two vivid "thoughts" before passing on
the first is a depiction
of the Hell i was promised after Death
fire, eternal pain and torture, all the trimmings
from here, it seems like a paradise beyond all imagination
and the second, the most damning "thought" ever conjured
was a simple message from an entity far wiser than i
and as i accepted and understood the message
my spirit screamed with an anguish
i only thought i'd known in life
the message?
"This is only the beginning..."
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2003-08-28 00:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: death is only the beginning
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 28th August 2003 @ 06:19:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow... this was fascinating and disturbingly good. I'm amazed don't worry about length because everything u right is good. Wow.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: death is only the beginning
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Thursday, 28th August 2003 @ 06:58:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Chilling, creepy ... totally awesome write ... take a bow ... Jan |
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Re: death is only the beginning
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Thursday, 28th August 2003 @ 07:34:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i can feel how much emotion went into this, as bizarre as that may sound. the imagery is mind blowing. it captivates the morbid side of the mind. another excellent write, Kate x |
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Re: death is only the beginning
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Friday, 29th August 2003 @ 04:51:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| your work is simply brilliant....no other way to describe it...with the imagery going on....you can never write something too long.....the third eye line blew me away.....WOW!!!! |
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Re: death is only the beginning
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2003 @ 03:25:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Awsome imagination. damien |
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