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broken are my rosez

Contributed by kinghtcalvinshoemaker on Wednesday, 27th August 2003 @ 04:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic: Haiku

token, none there lies of them, broken
broken with scatterd pettles, them
stem there of the tortures, token
them, the counterpart to pettles, stem

why, if they could the pettles would, cry
cry would there tears be shed too, red
dead these broken roses where, why
red, there blood tears ebb they are dead

Copyright © kinghtcalvinshoemaker ... [ 2003-08-27 16:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: broken are my rosez (User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on Thursday, 28th August 2003 @ 04:03:12 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

what you have written isn't a haiku
it's an octave... (8 line poem)

haikus are three line poems with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the third usually talks about something in nature

Example:

A tiny white cloud
On the wind that passes by
Fills me with pleasure

hope that helps.

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