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Can't wake up
Contributed by
knowWhat_kind
on
Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 06:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
He takes pills he scares me
He wakes me up and shows me his bloody arms
Who am I talking about I guess you all want to know what if I told you... no I can't tell you he might hear me maybe if I whisper it, are you ready prepare yourself...its my brother
yeah my older brother after he takes his pills our lives could go in danger...no but don't worry I can take care of myself know matter how scared I am he will never know
He has not a clue what he is doing....he could lay on a bed of nails and never know
thats what scares me to death and thats not how far I want to go yet, maybe they care what happens maybe they don't gee I even forget who I am writing about, I wish it were just a dream but I am not good enough for that
Copyright ©
knowWhat_kind
... [
2003-08-12 06:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Can't wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by Katie-Kate on
Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 06:54:09 AM AEST
(User
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a Message)
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| I like it very much because it tells it well. i know what it's like to be scared for a loved one's life. i am glad that nothing will happen to you guys, hang in there, things will get better |
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Re: Can't wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 07:37:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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take care of each other.........i feel like i'm in a closet and you're whispering this all to me......
good good write.... |
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Re: Can't wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by garyh on
Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 08:00:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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if you made this into lines/stanzas... it would look a lot better and probably read a lot better... and maybe make more sense...
because right now it just seems like you are repeating yourself too much... but once you put them into lines... it will look, read, feel better. and more people will want to read it... because it won't look like a paragraph.... |
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Re: Can't wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrucifiedAndLeft2Die on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 10:58:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You’re the best and you deserve better than the best and you’ll get it someday...
Great write– keep it strong |
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