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Contributed by alisialynn on Monday, 28th July 2003 @ 01:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

Things are so out of control but, tell me that I don't like it this way and your wrong.
I crave things to be disorder, I'm self destructive I've said it before
To think I could be falling for someone is so outside me and I can't help wondering if I am pushing to hard. Not on him, he loves me. I know this

My stomach is mush it lives by my heart now, and that is so like me. So like me to rush and to spend and to live in a moment only to regret that I didn't take my time later. There isn't a later here. Here lives only my brain and it doesn't tell time. It only sees eternity as one day. So many things
and only one day

Do I live now? Don't philosopher's say, "Live for Today?" Am I not living the easy life. Everything is free except my soul. I want to know endless sunshine and meet God.

My dreams are high and my expectations are low. Is there a difference between too many risks and just not taking enough? God, I feel like I have been sitting in a hole, holding my breath, and waiting for a digger to find me and relish in his discovery.

I'm so ***** up beautiful that I don't know what to do. He sees me and he can't stand it. The smile I think is what kills him. I could say anything. Dare I tell him that I lack any moral whatsoever? I do and he just laughs. He thinks I joke and I do but, I am all to serious.

He tells me I am cute that in life I am so confident but, in my own head I am so self conscience and then he will kiss me. I bite him because I want to hurt him for being so nice and because I want to bring things down to my level. Where sex is fun and what happens in the bedroom is like a different world.

So like myself. That I would take something beautiful, something that could possibly save me and put it in another world. Honestly a world where I can be myself but, still a different world all together. The bedroom.

My heart is heavy. I cannot wait for tomorrow. That's not like me at all. When was the last time I couldn't wait for tomorrow. I am contradicting myself like crazy. I am crazy. Denial is beneath me now.

Copyright © alisialynn ... [ 2003-07-28 01:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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