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my reflection
Contributed by
tinka_belle
on
Thursday, 24th July 2003 @ 05:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
I
start the morning off with a shower
Then
I
cleanse
tone
and
moisturise my face
Most mornings
I
do that twice
Depending on how ugly my face looks when
I
wake up
After that
I
put on my concealer
That’s to
cover up the
bags under my eyes
and the
freckles on my nose
Then
I
go over the top of that with powder
that’s to
make my skin look smooth
Only after
I
feel that
my face looks
smooth enough
I
put on my eye shadow
Purple
I
always have it on
I
refuse to leave the house without it on
I
couldn’t even contemplate doing that
Me
go out
without
make up on
You will never see the day.
I
can’t go out the front door without it on
I
guess
You
may say that that is
stupid
But it’s not
I
just can’t do it
If you try and make me
I
cry and scream
It’s not that
I
mean to or anything
but well
I know that
I’m
ugly
even if
I
have make up on
but
I look a bit better with it on
I
think
I
guess
I owe it to the people
outside of my home to wear make up
I
wouldn’t want to see me without it on
I’m sure I’d throw up
then and there
That’s how ugly
I
am.
After the eye shadow
I
put on black eye liner
Then finally
I
apply layer
after
layer
of mascara until
my eyelashes are
long
thick
and dark
Oh and of course
I
finish with my favourite lipstick
Over the top of that goes my shiny gloss
And there
I’m
Done
And
I
still look like crap
After all that
I
still look the same
ugly
ugly
ugly!
My mum says that
I look like a doll
Porcelain
Fake
But she doesn’t understand
She doesn’t get that
I
have to have that much make up on
other wise
I feel naked
And so
repulsively
ugly
She’s always saying to me
that no one wants
to be friends with a
doll
Doesn’t she mean
no one wants
to be friends with
some one who is ugly?
Maybe she does but
she doesn’t want to
say it
she doesn’t have to
Why did God
or who ever created
me
make me so gross to look at
Maybe
I
was born only to
stay in my room
and look at myself
in the mirror and
cry
and
scream
and
wonder
why my face
and body are like they are
Every time I walk past a mirror
or a window
basically any thing that
I
can see my reflection in.
I
stop and look
I
have to
I
have to make sure
that none of my
make up has come off
And if it has
I
run to a bathroom
and re-apply
what ever has come off
When
I
get home from school
each day
I
have a shower
I
try and wash the
ugliness
away
Then when
I
get out of the shower
I
wash my face
over and over again until
I
can’t do it any more
Until it hurts
Most nights
I
cry myself to sleep
I
cry because all
I
want is to wake up
the next morning and
look pretty
I
want to wake up
and look in the mirror and
smile
Instead of
screaming
Every time
I
look at my self
in the mirror
I
feel so
ugly and worthless
I
feel as though
I don’t belong here
I
don’t deserve to
walk out side
have friends
you don’t deserve
anything
when you’re ugly
Nothing at all
That’s when
I
think about leaving
to a place where
I
wouldn’t be ugly any more
I
wonder who invented mirrors?
Who ever it was
I
hope they are in hell
I
bet you any money
they were gorgeous
and a female
One of those perfects
who knows that they are beautiful
Do they know
how awful it is to be ugly
and have to look in the mirror?
Maybe they didn’t realise
how much damage a
single
sheet
of
glass
that showed your reflection
could do
of course they didn’t
They wanted to
look at themselves
and smile
I
wish
I
could do that
I
Wish
I
could do that…
Copyright ©
tinka_belle
... [
2003-07-24 17:05:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my reflection
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostforgood on
Friday, 25th July 2003 @ 05:22:21 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Aw sweetie....this is so sad....I wish I could be there for you and give you a hug....I am so sure that you are so beautiful....* sigh*
~lost~ |
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