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Raping Mother Earth
Contributed by
yellow_sundragon
on
Friday, 9th August 2002 @ 10:20:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
I look around my planet
And see us hard at work
Destroying the life we live for
And raping Mother Earth
We say that we're cold
Chop some wood to burn
But it ends up as chairs
What happened to the floor
Clear cut the woods some more
As we molest the forest
Breathe in, breathe out
Did you get enough?
I hope you did,
Cuz there ain't none left
Breathed too much, all gone
Run your cars some more
As you wreak the ozone
You say swimming's relaxing
So you go and swim in the lake
But you can't, too much garbage
And those kids throw in trash
No water to drink, need filters
Hope for fresh water to buy
Because you pollute the waters
As you sit now and think of your folly's
Remember the oil drills, which right now
Are poking into Mother Earth
And raping her to the core.
Copyright ©
yellow_sundragon
... [
2002-08-09 10:20:36] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Raping Mother Earth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Butterat_Zool on
Wednesday, 14th August 2002 @ 04:19:48 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really like your ideas here. I'm a tzeehugger myself. However, your writing gets a good bit repetitive by the last two or three stanzas, like you're making the same point over and over again. Try working on being concise and to the point. Or, if you feel that your point can't be made in only 20 lines or so, try making each stanza about more and more dramatic ways of raping mother earth, so that the reader's attention is gripped throughout the entire piece. Keep it up. You're spreading a good message. Butterat Zool. |
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Re: Raping Mother Earth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Mack22 on
Wednesday, 14th August 2002 @ 10:07:32 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I liked your poem alot!
Its fine the way its!
If more people started thinking the way you do the world would be a much better place! |
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