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Sick and Tired
Contributed by
punkwthn
on
Thursday, 10th July 2003 @ 03:35:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Sitting at her computer,
The black rings under her eyes tell a story.
Not of hope nor happiness. Not of glory.
Sick of being the strong one,
Her fists pound her head.
The tears roll down her cheeks; filled with dread.
Thoughts of home bring no comfort,
For they are the cause of her pain.
She has nothing to lose and nothing to gain.
Trapped in a void,
Only she can understand.
Why does nothing ever turn out as you plan?
Hoping for comfort,
And dreaming of people caring.
She’s tired of the incessant comparing.
She types a few last words
And will no longer be ignored.
Her head falls forward and smashes into the keyboard.
Copyright ©
punkwthn
... [
2003-07-10 03:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sick and Tired
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Thursday, 10th July 2003 @ 08:55:45 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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strong write hang in there you have talent
Shari |
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Re: Sick and Tired
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForsakenSoul on
Friday, 11th July 2003 @ 05:17:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Nice, especially considering the rhyme scheme you set up is usually painfully obvious. You set a steady pace even though the rhyming lines were adjacent. You artfully weaved a story by not telling it. Good write, and good rhythm. |
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