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My Prize!
Contributed by
Saira
on
Saturday, 14th June 2003 @ 06:45:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Tasted hurt, smelled hatred,
Felt forsaken, being fretted.
Broken within, I’m sore,
Rotting away from the core.
Vitriolic words burn my flesh,
Decorate these wounds with ash.
Eyes are stinging with undying tears,
Soul is being cut as if with shears.
Senses spin on the cacophony of lies,
Truth’s gone, the symphony of cries.
Morality falls from the height,
Nothing seems to be all that right.
Indifference of them, torments my mind,
Existence of mine, I do not find.
Trust shattered, heart full of woe,
Is this my prize for being good and true?
Copyright ©
Saira
... [
2003-06-14 06:45:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th June 2003 @ 08:06:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| a lot of pain.... not exactly a great prize for someone hehehe. but ur poetry sure deserves a prize very good writting.love to read more from you show us ur happy side too.keep it comming.--------Nida |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th June 2003 @ 08:07:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| by the way i really like this dark poetry.its so interesting.------nida |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Saturday, 14th June 2003 @ 03:33:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
My dear Nida!
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your kind remarks. Surely I will try to show my happy side too :->
Love ya! |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th June 2003 @ 02:59:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Great poem, good for a change. keep it up.
from u know who :P
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Good_King_Bragi on
Tuesday, 17th June 2003 @ 12:52:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| That's very powerful I would say, you made good use of assonance and alliteration as well as the rhyming scheme. You certainly struck the mark with this one. |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Tuesday, 17th June 2003 @ 07:18:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Thanks for the sincere and kind remarks. I'm very much pleased my friend. |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 19th June 2003 @ 02:57:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Very powerful poem..well I decoratedmy wounds with ashes and lie as a corpse in my burning ground... thank you brother.. this is well drwawn..venkat |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 19th June 2003 @ 02:57:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very powerful poem..well I decorate my wounds with ashes and lie as a corpse in my burning ground... thank you brother.. this is well drwawn..venkat |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Thursday, 19th June 2003 @ 08:11:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| "lie as a corpse in my burning ground"...this indeed an impressive line of yours. Thanks brother for reading and leaving your comments. |
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Re: My Prize!
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 8th July 2003 @ 07:19:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Behan.. Saira,..that line refers to My poem " my sacrificial ground".. if you could find time you may kindly read it.. thank you.. venkat |
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