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The Darkness
Contributed by
Goebelclm73
on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 12:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
It comes in so quickly, night time is its domain.
So, with your head and heart it plays a lonesome game.
When no one is around, it'll take you by surprise;
It's everywhere you are, until the sun starts to rise.
Often it's very cold, sending chills across your skin;
Tighter you hug the blankets, this battle you can not win.
It's dampness consumes you, moist upon your face;
Closing your eyes doesn’t help, this memory you can’t erase.
You’ve felt this all before and dreaded the moments edge;
You’ve promised yourself no more, it was a personal pledge.
But, night after night all is still the same;
Your cold breath in the air, the darkness wins again.
Copyright ©
Goebelclm73
... [
2003-06-11 12:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fenianheart on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 12:35:04 PM AEST
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very effective poem, you capture that force of lonlieness very well and how it is so difficult to overcome, good write
all the best
t |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 12:59:14 PM AEST
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very good write
Shari |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 04:22:43 PM AEST
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T,
Thank you for the comment. It's easy to write about something that is so close to home.
Christopher
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 04:25:58 PM AEST
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Shari,
Thank you!!!
Christopher
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saira on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 04:43:37 PM AEST
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| It's good. Very well wriiten! |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by MX on
Wednesday, 11th June 2003 @ 11:11:09 PM AEST
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that was simply amazing..you captured the essence of lonliness in every line. *claps*
-MX- |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Thursday, 12th June 2003 @ 11:38:48 AM AEST
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Prudent,
Thank you for the comment!!
Christopher
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Thursday, 12th June 2003 @ 11:42:13 AM AEST
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MX,
Thank you for the comment!!! It's easy to capture lonliness when it takes over so such a long period of time..glad those days are over....kind of.
Christopher
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th June 2003 @ 09:00:45 PM AEST
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Agree with all the other comments, you do capture the loneliness here perfectly,
*joins MX in clapping but louder and harder!*
Brilliant write as per usualy Christopher
Your friend
- becca |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Thursday, 12th June 2003 @ 09:33:28 PM AEST
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Becca,
Thank you!!! I'm not so sure about the "brilliant" part, but thanks!!!
Christopher
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Monday, 16th June 2003 @ 07:54:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very well done!! Bravo!!
Jenni |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Monday, 16th June 2003 @ 09:30:58 AM AEST
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Jenni,
Thank you very much!!
Christopher
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamCatcher on
Monday, 16th June 2003 @ 05:00:11 PM AEST
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| Very good poem. Keep it up! |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Goebelclm73 on
Monday, 16th June 2003 @ 06:22:57 PM AEST
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Thank you very much!! I've just started writing again, this poem is about a year old...new ones on the way!! Thanks so much for your comment!
Christopher
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