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Finding Myself
Contributed by
empois
on
Saturday, 7th June 2003 @ 04:35:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
One day, one time, one place
A man did not exist
No arms, no legs, no face
He wasn't writing this.
Alone a quiet night
His thought his spirit free.
No commitment to the world
Just a soul that eyes can't see
He took the time to think
And plenty of time he had
For no-one would disturb him
but it didn't make him sad.
At first all was just quiet
But then something did stir
his mind his spirit wondering
Is there something there?
Deep beneath the fabric
of world and time and space
He felt his soul transcending
unto another place.
The words become spontaneous
He writes as though possesed
Perhaps he was inspired
His mind now laid to rest
He has no eyes or ears
his nose is missing too
but yet he has more senses
than either me or you.
I wonder what he'd say
if he had a mouth
It wouldn't be the same
as what he's saying now
My spirit is his conscience
our minds our souls are one
finally I am with him
I myself am one.
Copyright ©
empois
... [
2003-06-07 16:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Finding Myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Saturday, 7th June 2003 @ 05:54:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Very enjoyable read, good write
Shari |
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Re: Finding Myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForsakenSoul on
Friday, 11th July 2003 @ 04:48:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Beautiful, simply beautiful. I do not have the words to describe the depth and beauty this poem holds, in both how its written, and what it means. I feel bad critisizing it, but I would say take away some of the obvious rhyming, and replace it with no rhyming words that still create rhythms. (half rhymes maybe?) (for example had and sad) Or you could try lenghting the line to make it not so obvious (did not instead of didn't) Great write nonetheless |
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