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Blind
Contributed by
empois
on
Saturday, 7th June 2003 @ 04:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
PoemsonBeauty
|
I sometimes wish I was blind
For then I wouldn't just chase
the pretty girls.
But might greater appreciate
everyone's personality.
Yet I would still have my sense
of touch.
Might then my greatest desire
be soft skin?
Copyright ©
empois
... [
2003-06-07 16:05:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blind
(User Rating: 1 ) by ForsakenSoul on
Friday, 11th July 2003 @ 04:52:32 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Good write. It's simple and that makes its meaning the more apparent, and with the meaning it holds, simplicity is a necessity. As far as improvement, try "less is more" lines two and three could remove "for" and "the"
Change but to "I" things like that. But in the ned, the poets choice, and you obviously made many good choices already for this poem. |
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