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walking alone
Contributed by
FireStarter
on
Friday, 6th November 2015 @ 09:25:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
In the rain I walk alone
the rain drizzles, so my tears don't show
Gray clouds cover up my grief,
washes away the sadness in giant heaps
The song I choose makes the tears come fast
the beautiful tune makes the sadness last
Its horrible to feel the way I feel,
my suffocation is all too real
How can I end my pain,
when all my life there's always been rain?
Might I fly away in an endless storm,
or perhaps lie helpless in my naked form?
Can't I be in the middle of the suns rays
so I can be free for the rest of my days?
How about diving to the bottom of the sea
so I can find the most perfect "me"?
One day I hope to breathe in fresh air
so I can laugh at myself with abandon and care.
One day I want no more tears,
so I can love throughout my years.
One day I want to be free,
so I could be the most perfect "me".
Copyright ©
FireStarter
... [
2015-11-06 21:25:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Friday, 6th November 2015 @ 09:38:04 PM AEST
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"One day I want to be free,
so I could be the most perfect "me"."
A very cool closing line. I like this in spite of the obvious pain.
Invierno
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by speedy on
Friday, 6th November 2015 @ 09:42:23 PM AEST
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I like this one. It's probably your best one so far.
Great write.
Hannah B |
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Saturday, 7th November 2015 @ 07:56:59 AM AEST
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I have to say my favorite lines are
"Might I fly away in an endless storm,
Or perhaps lie helpless in my naked form?"
I don't even know the true meaning behind it, and yet still I love it. It seems to me like a going with the motions, or go against them. Heck, I don't know what either entails, especially in your case, but the incredible difference is astounding.
Nicely done. :) |
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 7th November 2015 @ 08:01:59 AM AEST
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beautiful expression,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Saturday, 7th November 2015 @ 10:06:36 AM AEST
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I had come here for a few minutes of relief. Life has been very hard for me this year. I almost died at Easter time and my favorite uncle passed this Tuesday. (My fathers brother.) He was in my life for many decades and lived 1/2 mile away. A sad twist of fate took my father today. Just 4 days after his brother. Totally unexpected- unrelated and very shocking.
Pretty devastating. My father lived next door to me and I have not been away from him more than 50 nights in total my whole life. Yes 50 nights...... He was my best friend. We seen each other every day.
Your poem seems as if it was heaven sent. It is beautiful and helped me find some peace.
Thank You
James |
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th November 2015 @ 05:13:02 PM AEST
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| i love the thought of 'me' being at the bottom of the sea. Sunshine for you, my friend. |
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Re: walking alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by thomasu01 on
Thursday, 12th November 2015 @ 05:58:51 AM AEST
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Great write, amazing how emotions can be translated into words.
Even better when it can rhyme with meaning.
I always attempt this in my poems, but at times it is hard I find it easier if stronger emotions are present.
Good on Ya. |
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