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Breaking point of a severed mind
Contributed by
FireStarter
on
Monday, 7th September 2015 @ 03:14:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Crying in my meadow
broken, shattered window
Silently mistaken
risks my wrists have taken
Bleeding through the cuts
while stuck in the ruts
Of this never-ending life
while bleeding unforgiving strife
Trying to heal my woes
upon patching up my soul
Living on forever
my heart beginning to severe
Crying that reaches wailing
arms that go flailing
upon reaching the breaking points
Severed mind, severed joints
Copyright ©
FireStarter
... [
2015-09-07 15:14:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Breaking point of a severed mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 7th September 2015 @ 09:41:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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agony and heartbreak! the wretched torture!
this is so image filled! it is an amazing write!
hugs n' love nessa
roses at your feet
@->>->- |
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Re: Breaking point of a severed mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 8th September 2015 @ 05:16:51 AM AEST
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| You're getting better. The first 6 lines were perfect then you fell off your pace. I think its cool though. This kind of poetry should be frantic in places. |
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Re: Breaking point of a severed mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Tuesday, 8th September 2015 @ 12:57:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"Severed mind, severed joints"
That really has some strength to it. The sort of destruction of the mind, that agonizes the spirit and the soul, in which in turn damages the health and well-being of the body. It's almost a domino effect in its own right.
Out of curiosity, the nature of the poems you write are usually in the sense or realm of sadness, and I was wondering if you do it as picturing that form of an outlook is easy for you, or if you feel that it offers a sense of healing or catharsis for what it is in life that ails you? |
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