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The Rebirth
Contributed by
xHeathenx
on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 11:10:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
(The first two stanzas were done ahead of time, so the flow might be semi-similar, but I suppose this will be spoken word/rap no.5 I think.)
I set tones with choking voices
Demonstrate my weak and feeble mind
Illustrate efforts for right choices
As I slowly succumb to damnation in kind
I lack the right energy and skills
To escape my idiotic ignorant prisons
But I'll begin a sequence of commencing thrills
To shine through your oculus with profound visions
You bring the fire, and I'll bring the rain
I'll downpour and extinguish every ounce of hate
I drop from the sky like judgment held on high
While ivory towers wither crumble and collide
The end hasn't been seen yet, but trust that it's glorious!
The stone and structure of the unjust minority
Collapsing into an airborne dirt cacophony
Leaving nothing but a pool of love and empathy
Climbing from the ashes, and even from the dust,
An invariable escape from the great combust
With newfound courage to rebuild the bridge
To mitigate poison given to the heretics
Wait 'til the kings and their eyes have ceased
Making constant efforts to keep freedom seized
Wait 'til the blind and meek have seen
Every futile attempt to hide their destiny
[Probably the longest time I've ever spent editing, but I just can't keep going with it. Too much. :( ]
Copyright ©
xHeathenx
... [
2015-09-04 11:10:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Rebirth
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 04:33:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is more your style rocking the dueling couplets. It's sad the other writer did not help your. |
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Re: The Rebirth
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 4th September 2015 @ 09:38:22 PM AEST
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I really like this poem. For some reason it also got me thinking of Sara Connor.
Also, that person wanted to improve his writing for the wrong reason. Just my not so humble opinion.
Thanks for an enjoyable read.
Tim |
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