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Forsaken
Contributed by
randyjohnson
on
Monday, 3rd August 2015 @ 09:04:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChristianPoetry
|
God will never forsake people but many have forsaken him.
We need God now more than ever because things are so grim.
Many have chosen to forsake God and live such sinful ways.
But the Lord isn't like that, he's in my heart and he's here to stay.
Some people do or sell drugs, some are greedy and some steal.
Others commit rape, adultery arson and some even kill.
But those people will eventually suffer because of their wicked ways.
Every one of those people will face God's judgement and they will pay.
Copyright ©
randyjohnson
... [
2015-08-03 21:04:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Monday, 3rd August 2015 @ 10:47:58 PM AEST
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You see, I enjoy the flow and rhyme of this, with my only criticism of which is this.
I think "Others commit rape, adultery arson and some even kill."
Should be "Others commit rape, adultery, arson, and some will even kill."
Seems to fit the flow slightly better in a continuous rhythmic fashion.
I also want to say this. I completely respect your position of faith, truly I do. All I ask is you think of one important thing. To say that criminals such as these, because of the harm they do, will some day suffer, for the wrongs of which they do, is by its very nature cruel. I know, that's not going to make sense, which is why I want to say it here, just to explain why.
When somebody does these sorts of things, there are often such wide varieties of issues in their lives, be it depression, or living in a society that does not allow them the freedom it does for you and I, which the two of us, don't know about, because neither of us can be there to see it. Am I saying that this is just for them to do so? No. Far far from it. It is wrong. VERY wrong.
But here's what I want to say, and I hope that you receive this message well, and I hope it will carry on into your life, and bring great joy, on your path to the best level of wisdom that you can reach, in any and all aspects of your life.
These issues, are preventable. We can help those who are unfortunate. We can offer food, shelter, safety, security, and above all else, love. While God himself may offer the love we all seek, that has helped you to become a great person, that love is available to all, including those criminals. By offering that level of love, forgiveness, and understanding, and offering a way out of that lifestyle, we can very well work together, to vastly end so much of it. We just have to believe, try, and more than anything, love. |
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Re: Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Tuesday, 4th August 2015 @ 09:58:57 AM AEST
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I like the poem. It has a great flow too.
I can see the Heathens suggestion for "will" being good too. :)
I think you write some great poems. Also an unlimited amount that seems to stunt the production of many others here. A very prolific writer indeed.
The only thing I wish you would consider is your poem to comment ratio. I think more commenting would get you more reads and comments. Plus this place is about sharing............
Peace
James |
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Re: Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by speedy on
Tuesday, 4th August 2015 @ 08:04:48 PM AEST
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Great write.
Hannah B |
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Re: Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th August 2015 @ 01:34:43 AM AEST
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Great Work!!
God Bless!
Keep sharing |
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