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Stupour
Contributed by
codeofcohen
on
Thursday, 7th May 2015 @ 08:10:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
obsession
|
Such an insomniac.
I find myself here each and every night.
Snow covers the ground
And lyrics are scrawled
All over the edges of the universe.
Some kind of gothic
Drunken and poetic
Yet perpetual standstill
The year of the apocalypse
Immortalised my eventual dooms-eve
Upon a night of beer-buzzed folk tunes
But the regret is set in stone
Many a maiden may make a pass
But my blind love drunken stupour
Is ever oblivious
To the blissful charm of
Rightous, youthful hedonism
Copyright ©
codeofcohen
... [
2015-05-07 20:10:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stupour
(User Rating: 1 )
by SuicidalSon on
Thursday, 7th May 2015 @ 08:50:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good story. |
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Re: Stupour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Beyfoxman5 on
Friday, 8th May 2015 @ 01:34:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Beautifully written, from my perspective as well.
Best,
Fox |
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Re: Stupour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Sunday, 10th May 2015 @ 09:05:06 AM AEST
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Very evocative....well done. I learned something new from you, so thanks.
You broke up the poem by inserting a statement utterly out of flow and syntax to the body whole...it made it that much more powerful and punch through the da, da, da, da.
"Some kind of gothic
Drunken and poetic
Yet perpetual standstill"
Far out, man. I'm going to utilize this neat little trick in something when it fits.
Thanks,
Invierno
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Re: Stupour
(User Rating: 1 )
by codeofcohen on
Monday, 25th May 2015 @ 08:27:44 PM AEST
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| Thank you, its wonderful to have received feedback from such talented writers. This poem was a gift to myself, I suppose,from my drunken self, for when I awoke. I suppose I hit the nail on the head for myself somehow. Thanks again friends |
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