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Honest

Contributed by the_unknown on Friday, 1st May 2015 @ 12:52:07 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



You were charming
Rebellious
Attractive
Within you I saw greatness
But it was like pulling teeth
You tell me your worst habits
were given up for me
I tried to be honest from the start,
I was no golden star
That I did not try to hide
Somewhere along the way
our road got muddied
Black and white, right and wrong
Turned into a washed out grey
Struggle enters all relationships
How you move past it and work through it determines your future
Well I guess we needed to work harder
Looking back I see it all so clearly
Slowly falling out of love
Running out of care
Hammered into me were your reactions
The tortured thought of losing you
Once I felt I had to hide,
had to lie
All our progress got washed away
Once you start lying there's no going back
There is no changing it
I lied to my family, my friends
I lied to myself and I lied to you
What killed me the most
Was betraying who I am
Deep down I've found my honesty
And I'm bursting at the seams
The elephant in the room is me
Disinterested and reluctant
Comfort shouldn't stand in the way of happiness
But I'm letting it for now
I once had hope that we could be great together again
And I thought I tried, but I saw no positive reinforcement
This isn't a one person show
show; I don't want to be the fool
I'm done trying, done pleasing
I care for you deeply, but I am no longer in love with you
And I don't know if I ever was
I think that I tried to convince myself of it
But it wasn't genuine
I have been questioning myself now
I lost who I was and I don't like who I have become
My lack of care and tact has left me hollow
My heart feels hardened, angry
I find myself grasping at becoming numb
But my hands are shaking
And my mind feels as though it's collapsing in on itself
There's an eerie sense of sorrow
But I don't think that it's for you




Copyright © the_unknown ... [ 2015-05-01 00:52:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Honest (User Rating: 1 )
by Beyfoxman5 on Friday, 1st May 2015 @ 11:53:00 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Great depth, touching, relatable.

Best,
FOX


Re: Honest (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Monday, 4th May 2015 @ 02:43:55 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
A deep inner vision of emotional torture
well done.




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