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A clouded mind
Contributed by
thepoet353897
on
Saturday, 25th April 2015 @ 06:10:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
My mind is lashed with damnable hate
My slurred dialect that cannot create
A simple phrase, a simple ask
Why upon me was this judgment passed?
I absorb the food from your hand
I cannot depict my thoughts of this land
I amble along, holding your limb
And ask what I did, how did I sin?
You are my rock, I am the poor
You give me life but I need more
I cannot live inside this shell
The more I live, the more I dwell
So discharge me god, let me go
I want to be swift, not held back and slow
I want to be better than how I am now
Open my eyes away from the clouds...
thepoet353897, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems by our other authors for each one you submit.
Copyright ©
thepoet353897
... [
2015-04-25 06:10:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A clouded mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by SuicidalSon on
Saturday, 25th April 2015 @ 06:49:36 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Right on reminds me of hmmmmm....... Me!!! Nice write |
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Re: A clouded mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Monday, 27th April 2015 @ 12:59:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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An emotional state that is displeasant, but even still all the same, this poem is well done. The rhyme and flow are great, and the message itself is in fact quite relatable.
(Be sure to comment on other peoples' writing too for community's sake!) |
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Re: A clouded mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by CandyAnn on
Monday, 27th April 2015 @ 07:51:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem almost sounds like one I read already... Still nice work! |
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Re: A clouded mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by FireStarter on
Tuesday, 28th April 2015 @ 02:20:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Dang...that was awesomely written ^-^ |
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