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falling (revised per comments)
Contributed by
seen
on
Thursday, 26th March 2015 @ 10:36:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
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Many walks of life have impassible cliffs
Some with unclimbable pits
There are those who must fall to rise
Others who fall can be stuck forever
Why is life so cruel? Can there never be only good
There is always a light no matter how bright or dim
Control of this glow may be managed with will
You are the light in my pit
As bright as ten suns you have saved me
There is no pit I can't maneuver or climb with you by my side
I am falling now and forever
Only this time I am falling for you
Copyright ©
seen
... [
2015-03-26 10:36:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: falling (revised per comments)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 26th March 2015 @ 01:17:24 PM AEST
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My sincere apologies for being direct with you, but I really see no change. I would really love to help you, but you have to know your own work and how to get your thoughts across with words that grasp the intellect of others. All I can do is mentor with ideas that might help. Maybe it's just me, Maybe I am wrong, but I am just not grasping your poem.
Wayne |
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Re: falling (revised per comments)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 26th March 2015 @ 01:51:11 PM AEST
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| I will send you a private message. |
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Re: falling (revised per comments)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 26th March 2015 @ 05:10:54 PM AEST
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My suggestion to you i start out with something simple and work at it. Use the revised one I sent you as a template or draft to follow, until you get the idea. Once you get the idea, it will all start to flow, if you have the talent. If you have a passion for writing and for poetry, then you will do just fine. Contact me any time if you have questions.
wayne_searles@msn.com
Just type YPDC friend in subject line.
Wayne |
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Re: falling (revised per comments)
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Thursday, 26th March 2015 @ 05:21:23 PM AEST
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Life is not cruel; but it IS a teacher! That is the "OUCH!".
Never did I learn with my mouth open or my eyes closed.
It matters not whether you fly above it or muck through it--just don't give up.
Mistakes don't kill us…apathy does.
Keep writing! Take advice! Make mistakes!
There is no such thing as perfection; but what a rush it is to strive for it!!
softerware |
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Re: falling (revised per comments)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Friday, 27th March 2015 @ 03:47:34 PM AEST
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I really like what Software has to say here! Just keep on writing!
Wayne |
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Re: falling (revised per comments)
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 27th March 2015 @ 04:07:01 PM AEST
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warm welcome to ypdc, this is romantic and charming!
keep writing!
hugs n' love nessa |
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