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Hidden behind closed doors
Contributed by
FireStarter
on
Saturday, 7th March 2015 @ 10:10:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Hidden behind the locked doors of hell
all the crying and lies I've told, I would never tell
All the bruises and scars that I've endured during my stay
I've prayed to god that they'll go away
Parents did nothing to help me out
All they did was spoke in whispers that seemed so loud
All they cared about was the money, that they couldn't see
How their actions and words disfigured me
I've been traded and sold without a single thought in mind
all I think about is how the hell I'm gonna do my time
Everyday I stay I get a new blister or scar
People always say that I'm not a shining star
A couple years in and I feel uglier beyond words
I wish that I could go to another world
But good news! I've finally found a friend,
This is my story and it isn't the end
Copyright ©
FireStarter
... [
2015-03-07 22:10:48] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hidden behind closed doors
(User Rating: 1 ) by JamesStockdale on
Sunday, 8th March 2015 @ 11:02:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautiful and sad all in one!
Awesome write- you should be proud! |
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Re: Hidden behind closed doors
(User Rating: 1 ) by unknown_utopia on
Monday, 9th March 2015 @ 12:15:48 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really like this
and yes
it's not the end....
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Re: Hidden behind closed doors
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th March 2015 @ 02:36:12 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Lots of pain and very sad but then it twists at the end to show light beginning to shine through in a dreary world. Loved that! I could really feel the emotion.
I would like to make a suggestion. Change this line:
All they did was spoke in whispers that seemed so loud
to All they did was speak in whispers that seemed so loud
Obviously spoke is the past tense of speak but you already defined the past with the word did.
Just an observation on an otherwise great poem!
Thanks,
Tim |
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