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Dead of the war

Contributed by thepoet353897 on Sunday, 1st March 2015 @ 12:54:02 PM in AEST
Topic: war

The dead of the war stand in gloom
A scarlet tinge for the muted room
People beaten by tools of war
Stand together, forgotten in law

Anxiety and anger purge my heart
This beats to the soldier’s steady march
Into battle we must go
Our general shouted, we moaned and groaned

My conscience took my by the hand
Or cowardice I turned and ran
Murdered by our former friends
Comrades lives now loose ends

A shell amiss, an ‘honourable death’
The recollection of quickened breaths
The flicker book of Sundays passed
A life that was meant to last

Respect upmost those who fought
Let them occupy your thoughts
I’m not the mean and selfish kind
These people will always fill my mind

I loved my life, I treasured it
Now memories come back in bits
We marched in battle, four by four
We are the dead of the war

Copyright Â© thepoet353897 ... [ 2015-03-01 12:54:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Dead of the war (User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on Sunday, 1st March 2015 @ 03:00:45 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Thank you for your dedication to us Veterans and Soldiers. Very much appreciated my friend.

About your poem, Maybe I am not reading it correctly, but when I read it, I have to stop because of broken flow. You have an awesome talent, but you rhyme, then don't rhyme, you mix up the poem a lot. You have meaning or a story within your poem, but you choke the poem instead of letting it flow from the tongue.

Wayne

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