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Vermin
Contributed by
Kimmy79
on
Thursday, 26th February 2015 @ 11:57:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Rats are vermin they scavenge
in the gutters looking for rotten meat
And some rats walk with two feet.
Snakes are slippery and cunning with
hypnotising eyes
they can creep up behind and take
you by surprise.
Leeches are dirty creatures they usually
live in mud
and some leeches suck on human blood.
Wolves are predators they hunt for prey
using their long nose
and some wolves come dressed
in sheeps clothes!!
Copyright ©
Kimmy79
... [
2015-02-26 11:57:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Vermin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 26th February 2015 @ 01:23:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome, awesome poem. I did notice something you could change:
{Rats are vermin they scavenge}
Maybe, to flow better, could have written:
{ Rats are vermin's that scavenge
searching in gutters for rotten meat}
Some rats scurry around on all four
while others, just on two feet
Just some food for thought! However, your poem is quite awesome.
Wayne
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Re: Vermin
(User Rating: 1 )
by thepoet353897 on
Friday, 27th February 2015 @ 05:24:28 AM AEST
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| Really nice poem, I love the language used |
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Re: Vermin
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Saturday, 28th February 2015 @ 08:21:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Just the kind of stuff that makes me squirm.
Very visual and well done! |
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