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Asleep in my chair

Contributed by texasman on Monday, 9th February 2015 @ 10:43:05 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

When I sleep
it's not long
Before I dream of a day gone wrong
I am in a house
by myself
Doors shut and nothing is left

I wake up cold
and shiver in my chair
Afraid to look around
Because you're not there

I keep opening the doors one after another
asking myself where is my other

she will be back
She won't be gone too long
I can hear footsteps
They are vibrant and strong
Then I open the door and no one is there
That’s when I realize
I‘m asleep in my chair

texasman, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems by our other authors for each one you submit.

Copyright Â© texasman ... [ 2015-02-09 10:43:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Asleep in my chair (User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on Monday, 9th February 2015 @ 04:27:46 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Okay... I tried to leave a comment three times, after which my phone crashed out to the home screen each time. So instead I use my note functions, followed by a copy and a paste. :)

What I love in this, is the sense of borderline(or complete if you wish)-insanity present in the narration, as well as the wording of the footsteps. Something about that I really like, especially considering that there's no mention of the narrator's footsteps, so it's a question as to if they're his own, or if he's truly insane. He may not be strong to some, but to others he truly is, through persistence, and maybe some day, perseverance. The vibrant sound of them makes them questionably his, but also hints at the insanity, which is a fun double-take on the idea. :)
And the ending? Great! It has its own double meaning too, of dreaming when asleep, and day-dreaming of her return. Well done in all. :)

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