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Leah
Contributed by
JamesStockdale
on
Saturday, 3rd January 2015 @ 12:58:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
You came into my life
At a critical time
With no rhyme or reason
Simply a messenger from God
You gave me purpose and hope
And a reason to be
Like a lost little pup
I was at your door
No matter what you offered
I wanted more
Then came a day
When your door
Opened no more
I wandered aimlessly
To find what I once had
Once more
Days come and go
My tail wags no more
The door that once opened
Opens no more
You moved on
Without a trace
Leaving this pup
With a very sad fate
My heart is broken
Now that you're gone
No smile on my face
My tail wags no more
I'm off to knock on your door
If only for once more
Copyright ©
JamesStockdale
... [
2015-01-03 12:58:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Leah
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th January 2015 @ 08:56:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really like this! Nice poem :) |
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Re: Leah
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 18th January 2015 @ 10:18:40 PM AEST
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beautifully penned,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Leah
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th September 2020 @ 06:51:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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// // Jimmy, this is very sad. Again, I`m relating to yet another one of your poems.
____
Okay, I can`t apologize enough about removing the original comment, especially knowing that it helped you. I think I tried to stop pointing out grammar and misspellings because a lot of members, not you, take that the wrong way. Maybe it`s just a mood thing.
But in an effort to coach &/or help again, I noticed some things on some of your other poems. I can already hear in my head a voice telling me to shut up. But I think it`s just imagining someone else reading this comment and taking it the wrong way instead of //that// voice I have learned to listen to.
So, here goes:
I noticed on one poem instead of using two words, may be, you used maybe. I`m a perfectionist so just tell me to shut up. I can find that poem because it was tonight. In the context, two separate words should have been used. I didn`t do well in most classes but in high school I got at least B+`s in English. I wouldn`t steer you wrong.
A couple of others I saw the use of then instead of than. If I recall correctly, I changed one but when I saw the other, I thought to myself, "How do you know that`s not what he really intends to say?" I believe I left that one alone. I am, however, 98% confident that your intended meaning was than, rather than then. See what I did there? 😉
But //I am// a bastid. I find your instead of you`re annoying as ****. Or im instead of I`m makes me want to go postal. hee hee j/k
Or am I? 🙃
Am I capable of these mistakes? Aw hell yeah!!! So, anyone else reading this, Jimmy & I know each other at least well enough to know I am in no way being judgmental. Another thing Jimmy & I have in common, besides apparently being attracted to the same kind of woman, is pride in our finished product.
This for example: /'/
will be replaced with ` so we don`t get /'/
Anyway, there ya` have it.
Take care, Jimmy.
tkd
😎 |
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