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Him.

Contributed by LauranHyde on Friday, 26th December 2014 @ 06:50:54 AM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems

Why can't you see, just what you mean.
When I see you, I get so keen.
The way we laugh, the way are,
that night we laid underneath the stars.

I care so much, I feel let down.
Well look at me, I'm such a clown.
Blinded by his hate, his hate towards himself.
He cannot see, what others see inside.
A smile so bright, a hug so tight.

A sadness so deep, I feel like such a *****.
I wish that he could see, all that he means to me.
When I touch his lips, it feels Just like you and me.
The soft touch of his skin on mine, the way he sucks my lip.
The way he holds me close, I feel like this is such a loss.

Copyright © LauranHyde ... [ 2014-12-26 06:50:54]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Him. (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Friday, 26th December 2014 @ 07:28:45 AM AEST
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"The soft touch of his skin on mine, the way he sucks my lip. " A nice tender line.

Well done. Perhaps you can focus on why he hates himself and try to absolve that feeling in him. All the love in the world will do aught if the recipient can not open his heart to receive it. Sounds like he doesn't feel worthy of love. Find out WHY and you will be farther along.

My best, and nice poem. Keep writing your way through these feelings.

Invierno

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