|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
4J9
Contributed by
fredmonte101
on
Thursday, 4th December 2014 @ 03:17:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
4J9 by Fred Monte Lassonde
What more can I say
that I have not said
I Love you to this day
May that not go unsaid
Forever is forever still
Love you forever I will
If as a Brother it may only be
Then Sister I still Love thee
Now real Love is always True
It only wants all the best 4 you
Seeking your welfare in what it does
In its nature Loving you just because
4 itself wanting your best to be
Knowing that may not always
Include what one wants you see
Yet it does include the best of days
Your well being is in its Heart
When recognized you will see
That True Love will never depart
It is there and forever will be
Now I try once again to let you know
Love wants your best, more than fine
True Love will not die only will grow
Always the Truest of Love 4J9
©Fred Monte Lassonde 2014
Copyright ©
fredmonte101
... [
2014-12-04 03:17:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: 4J9
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 4th December 2014 @ 05:48:49 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hi, I really like your poem, it is really good. However, I noticed the flow of it tends to throw a reader off because you mix your style when you write it. Your rhyming does not stay consistent, in each stanza it changes, really something to consider, to make your poetry sound that much better. You want to try to grasp the reader, not throw them off. If you grasp the reader with your words, you can make them feel your words through what you write. Not trying to be mean, just sharing with you what I see. Keep on writing though, very good poem.
Wayne |
|
|
Re: 4J9
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 4th December 2014 @ 05:23:15 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautiful and lovingly penned, i re-read it after i saw
wayne's comment and i believe it's the forth stanza that
actually does throw one off a bit:: the poem does not
even need that stanza, the rest is excellent, and
quite moving:)
hugs n' love nessa |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
