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On Jamaica Street
Contributed by
tflm
on
Friday, 23rd May 2003 @ 01:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
You told me you loved me
With the trains rolling by
I was shocked and said nothing
You were drunk and insecure
I was young and wanting more
You were older and not so pure
You told me you loved me
With the trains rolling by
I felt her breath tickling my neck
You felt his money filling your urge
I knew her lies whispered promise
You knew my lies… lied
You told me you loved me
With the trains rolling by
Copyright ©
tflm
... [
2003-05-23 13:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: On Jamaica Street
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Saturday, 31st May 2003 @ 07:27:51 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| theres an interesting story behind this one (i'm guessing), but it need not be obvious as you've shown. i like the repetition and the simplistic language. keep them coming, Kate x |
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Re: On Jamaica Street
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 9th June 2003 @ 12:49:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I distinctly heard "Blues in the night" as I read this one. Seemed to capture a sordid moment of lust. |
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