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Give and Take
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Friday, 7th November 2014 @ 03:19:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Forgive me
But,
I must persist
With this
Copulation
Of words
Perhaps,
Crying out,
Unheard-
Insistence
Is cloaked
In daggers,
Boasted
In swagger,
I stagger,
Back
To attack-
Modus operandi
Devoid
Of tact,
Retract-
Your claws,
Bombarded
By flaws
Dropping
Jaws,
Stuffed, with, gauze
Shut
Your damn mouth.
An instrument
To kiss-
With tongues
That hiss
What is your reply to this?
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2014-11-07 15:19:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by Beyfoxman5 on
Friday, 7th November 2014 @ 03:39:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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So gripping I don't think I will full grasp what I read until tomorrow.
Thank goodness you paid attention to you spontaneity. |
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 7th November 2014 @ 04:37:23 PM AEST
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it sounds a little plath-ish and that is always a good thing,
the laid out stark reality of life, she always bravely put it out
there and you do too, that's one of the many things i love
about how you write and what motivates such beauty in
your poetry:)
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th November 2014 @ 08:26:47 PM AEST
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Well, I say...
Funky Cold Medina
Kissing Jim Mesina
In betweena his big ol ears
As they sit, listening to jeers
Has nuttin ta do
with crikey poo
but this a po-em
seems influenced by
Eminem
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Saturday, 8th November 2014 @ 03:37:39 AM AEST
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I would never want to be on your bad side. So much venom scorpy. I love it. Short simple and to the point, the way I think most poetry should be written. but this isnt about me!
Boasted in swagger. reminds me of the line from True grit about being a whiskey drinking braggadocio. we say a mighty lot but wheres the actions. I am sad I missed this earlier. glad it was here to find. |
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Saturday, 8th November 2014 @ 03:39:18 AM AEST
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| Tim now that you mention it, it does have a very Eminem flow/feel to it. what a great mind for writing, I wished he used it fully |
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Saturday, 8th November 2014 @ 05:38:03 AM AEST
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I love the way your spur of the moment comes across as so well polished and thought provoking.
Your gift is our gift too.
Steve |
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Re: Give and Take
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 9th November 2014 @ 01:09:15 AM AEST
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the climax sometimes is this thing
that makes one feel like sleep
Before that is the ecstasy the upended heat
which we are trained at exploring
Like the dopamine dreamscape cloud
that hangs upon
the very fog that misses its cue
within the act
within the play
within the words
that come
from the mouths
less than rehearsed
love it love love it said the
hiss
take it or leave it
said the snake
Hello you look like a motionless stick
very interesting my friend...
fun reading your poems scorp!!!
Peace!
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