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Make it Stop
Contributed by
softerware
on
Sunday, 19th October 2014 @ 11:04:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
SpecialOccassion
|
Though we stand shoulder to shoulder, I cannot recognize the signs!
In this place of changing colors and nameless shapes I am filled with terror!
Endless questions mock me!
Would I do it, you ask?
I would always, definitely, sometimes, NOT!
Now the darkness has fallen, and there is the sound of a train, coming, coming….
Shall I hurry, or hesitate;
as I hang on the edge of a precipice by your hand!
I cannot fathom how to keep from plummeting to my death—so I turn toward the edge!
And as I stand immobilized in the gaze of brilliant endless flashes, you mock me with riddles;
and warn me that the true cost of death is far more than I timidly surmised.
I beg you--How long will it take to stop, tell me!
I know you will not permit me to do this alone should I fail!
yet you hide the secrets of the lights, that would bring me through this fogged nightmare unscathed!
Alas! I have missed the warning signs again! I have crossed the line…I am drowning in your pool of diamonds, and in desperation, I throw caution to the wind.
Despite the danger ahead, I stand at your mercy, looking through the caged window.
My pen falls from my hand.
I have failed my driver’s exam.
Copyright ©
softerware
... [
2014-10-19 23:04:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 19th October 2014 @ 11:40:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Love it !!!! Very clever. I did not see that coming.
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 20th October 2014 @ 12:09:57 AM AEST
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lmao! kept thinking the train would get you, sheesh...
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 20th October 2014 @ 08:37:53 AM AEST
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Very original and enjoyable to read! Nice twist at the end.
Well done.
~Scorp |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by dvtpdw on
Monday, 20th October 2014 @ 08:12:59 PM AEST
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| Yup, I agree - held me to the end and bammm, hit with the ending. Very impressive, interesting write - nice job, P |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathbringer on
Tuesday, 21st October 2014 @ 02:52:29 PM AEST
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| although I've yet to aquire a taste for this kind of writing, I must say I quite enjoyed it, and was hardly expecting the turn of events you've provided at the end. |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 21st October 2014 @ 07:43:32 PM AEST
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| Hahaha. Nicely done. Very nicely done. Originality and imagination coupled with cunning execution. |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Thursday, 23rd October 2014 @ 06:50:57 AM AEST
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Well done, friend. As a poster said, the ending is left field and fun!
Invierno |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Friday, 31st October 2014 @ 12:22:42 AM AEST
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Would I do it, you ask?
I would always, definitely, sometimes, NOT!
I smiled wryly at this line, knowing my thoughts about sometimes questions.
Alas! I have missed the warning signs again! I have crossed the line
I am all too familiar with this one. how often we miss the details that would make the difference.
Sooo the twist at the end was fun. Made me laugh, God knows I need it. Thanks Softerware |
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Re: Make it Stop
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pogivic on
Tuesday, 7th April 2015 @ 07:55:58 PM AEST
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| This is my favorite kind of poem. Something with a touch of humor is always worth reading. I try to not write sad love poems, Sometimes just a simple truth is a lot more interesting. I don't remember my feelings when I took my first drivers test but it could have been quite similar in some ways although this sounds like you were too wound up to be taking a test. Good Write. |
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