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Bitter Lullaby
Contributed by
puppy_dog_eyes
on
Friday, 3rd October 2014 @ 03:11:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
AmericanTragedy
|
We conquered you, yet cloaked in ice darkness you sneer undefeated
The long ridge where we exalted ourselves in bright sunshine
In the still of night now the blade of vengeant knife
Piercing our hearts as we huddle against the wind whip of your rasping tongue
We mocked you, the beast that roared but had no bite
That now devours our flesh and proffers only hunger and cold
As all hope evaporates, our minds cling to smoke images of those we love
While the billowing haze of snowflakes shreds our tempered spirit
We praised you, worthy adversary to youthful exuberance and undaunted optimism
The snake road, silent to all but heavy breath in pressure choked lungs
Your jagged peak, monument to ambitious folly and underestimation
Rises before us, the raised sword of the slayer ready to strike
We respect you, willing victims guided carefully to the snare
Morning will be an epitaph, our graves white blankets of folding snow
Stubborn hope finally flickers and fails like the light from lantern lamp
Cruel arms envelope us as the storm sings bitter lullaby to final sleep
Copyright ©
puppy_dog_eyes
... [
2014-10-03 15:11:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bitter Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 3rd October 2014 @ 03:34:56 PM AEST
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chilling, real and a raw glimpse of actual reality of the human spirit, ...believing
we are able to conquer all yet nature has the last surviving voice, this is a stunning
write, i love how you laid it out and penned it so beautifully,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Bitter Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Friday, 3rd October 2014 @ 05:42:07 PM AEST
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Wonderfully descriptive, shifting between ego, surprise, awe, dread and finally, anticipation of the inevitable. We are nature, but Nature is more than us.
a welcome first read this morning over hot coffee and a bagel in Spring weather, and not the plight of these poor buggers. That's as close as I want to get. S |
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Re: Bitter Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Friday, 3rd October 2014 @ 09:09:22 PM AEST
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A gripping insight to the last moments of lucidity, before frozen sleep claimed them. "we mocked you…we praised you…we respect you" like chapters of a book closing, you unravel the finale of hope failing.
This is a beautiful tribute, probably closer to truth than we will ever know, and wisely crafted with imagery "Stubborn hope finally flickers and fails like the light from lantern lamp" that draw the readers into the downward spiral. Eloquent and unforgiving
this reflects your research and ability to immerse in other's emotions. A gift your audience benefits by, and you have left me hoping for more of your work!
Thank you! softerware |
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Re: Bitter Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 3rd October 2014 @ 11:07:06 PM AEST
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| Nessa already used the word but I have to say it too...stunning. This one really did stun me...blew me away. This played like a movie as a read it. I saw it, I felt it. Powerfully strong writing. You definitely should be commended on that poet! |
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Re: Bitter Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 4th October 2014 @ 12:09:01 AM AEST
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You wrote this rather well. Very descriptive, like a firsthand account, instead of relaying someone else's plight. For me to think of dying this way it seems quite horrible. I am most definitely not the mountain climber type, except to write about it metaphorically in a poem...Just ask me how well I did walking up those death-defying stairs of chichen itza. *shudder*
However, tragic as it may be, these people you write of died doing something they love. Sure, dying sucks, but we all have to deal with it eventually. Outside of dying in your sleep, dying doing something we love has to be a close second?
~Scorp
(Who is trying to put death in perspective) |
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Re: Bitter Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Saturday, 4th October 2014 @ 01:27:27 AM AEST
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Wow!
You had me right from the beginning with such descriptive lines. Thank you for showing me such emotion. You are an amazing poet. |
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