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the wolves
Contributed by
Cathartic
on
Tuesday, 23rd September 2014 @ 01:58:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I will run to the hills with you
racing the winds,
We will seek refuge in the moons silhouette and beat the wolves to their caves
Finding a place big enough for you and small enough for me
Copyright ©
Cathartic
... [
2014-09-23 13:58:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the wolves
(User Rating: 1 )
by RussellReinhardt on
Tuesday, 23rd September 2014 @ 02:41:39 PM AEST
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Hi there
First some advice someone gave me long ago about short poems. They need to rhyme. None the less this one you penned is still good. It doesn't say much in volume however in between the line for those who can read it there is a lot this poem says. Good write. God bless
Greetings
Rus
PS: I would categorise it in Life poetry after getting its underlying meaning. |
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Re: the wolves
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 24th September 2014 @ 03:40:34 PM AEST
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| Imo the only thing wrong with this poem is that it wasn't longer. It's like you started to paint the picture then denied us more. That being said, I really like it and rhyming with short poems. Ah. Forget convention. So long as it's good then do what you want. It's objective |
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Re: the wolves
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Thursday, 25th September 2014 @ 02:33:24 AM AEST
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I don't agree with the idea that short poems need to rhyme. I think it's more important to capture the emotion and avoid anything that might get in the way of that.
You should check out Ezra Pound's 23 Don'ts.
I think they are essential to improve ones own poetry.
Here is a link: http://www.openculture.com/2014/01/read-ezra-pounds-list-of-23-donts-for-writing-poetry-1913.html
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Re: the wolves
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 27th September 2014 @ 09:16:29 PM AEST
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for this I have no advice
'finding a place big enough for you and small enough
for me'
just fits....
'beat the wolves to their caves'
a cavity alone for lovers
or believers or thinking
"I will run to the hills with you"
"racing the winds"
something we know all do
Well done my friend!
Hey Carthartic,
your short soliloquy
Is substantially perfect enough
for thee
good stuff!
Peace!
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Re: the wolves
(User Rating: 1 )
by kmec1990 on
Sunday, 4th January 2015 @ 06:25:45 PM AEST
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Beautifully written and powerful in its lack of sing-song.
Enjoyed reading will be back
K |
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