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Rusted Nail
Contributed by
steven_fenton123
on
Tuesday, 9th September 2014 @ 04:37:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Adrenaline pumping,
alcohol flowing,
emotions running,
all through my platinum dreams.
Gasoline burn out,
shotgun yearning,
love sick and falling,
in my rusted nail life.
I am lost at sea,
my boat is made of paper honesty.
This ocean of deceit,
will crush it with an acid tsunami.
I am going wayward, losing my mind.
I wonder in time, what the ocean will find,
within my platinum dreams,
amongst this rusted nail life.
Copyright ©
steven_fenton123
... [
2014-09-09 16:37:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rusted Nail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th September 2014 @ 10:08:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Dear steven_fenton123
Your poetry is not rusty at all
dreams of platinum the chemical
element incapable of rust
could sit long and cold
at the bottom of any sea
wayward, what is a good
antonym
But dreams are not
Controllable
And neither are you
As far as I can tell
Great poem!
Peace! |
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Re: Rusted Nail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th September 2014 @ 10:12:35 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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FYI - meant that to be a compliment
BTW, but I thought rust complements
Like perfections
one might miss quite
easily
Run Run Rabbit
But not from your dream
Thanks again for your insightful poem!
Peace! |
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