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Enamored
Contributed by
Opium
on
Saturday, 2nd August 2014 @ 09:59:59 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
He found some words to claim her heart
But failed to bind two minds apart
He stole a verse from a mad poet
And arrogantly willing to show it
He faked the heart of a repented sinner
Dubiously thought he's the winner
Of her heart and of her smile
Of her blushed erotic wile
He only claimed her heart shaped box
For she's one conny little fox
Her empty heart is her muse
His empty words are his curse
Both are sadly destined to lose
And I? I'm just a poet with a stolen verse
Copyright ©
Opium
... [
2014-08-02 09:59:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Enamored
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 2nd August 2014 @ 10:08:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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cool, cool, cool.
If I may offer a thought here? Since you obviously have a gift, I would hope you will re-read your poems a number of times, and when you spot a line or word that disrupts the flow as written, look for an alternative to hold the flow steady.
Subject? Excellent. Content? Excellent.
Keep it up!
Invierno |
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Re: Enamored
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 2nd August 2014 @ 06:17:12 PM AEST
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well, this seems like it's about kurt to me, so much so, so sad
the way things played out, i have a lot more adjectives besides
conny little fox about her for sure! i don't think he'd mind you
borrowing heart shaped box at this point if possible he'd be
delighted, a beautiful write, thanks for sharing,
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->>- |
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Re: Enamored
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 2nd August 2014 @ 10:08:53 PM AEST
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Opium dude, love that name BTW
almost greek like, yet your poem is like opium
wonderful wonderful wonderful
historically if you will, wise and brilliantly
true. I don't know too much about philosophy
but this be philosophical to say the least, and also smooth writing..
Thanks!
Peace! |
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