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October 12
Contributed by
Blackheart
on
Sunday, 20th July 2014 @ 04:16:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
BirthdayPoems
|
I really wish you would say something.
I guess that night, I prayed for nothing
Which is why I haven't prayed in weeks, I'm frustrated
I'm not the average believer who has ample patience
When consequences are always breathing on my neck
I'm striving for success waiting beyond death
Which I'll die trying
Or simply die
And still fail to meet you on the other side
If you're even there...
How do I know you're not in Hell?
Let me guess, that's like saying how do I know I'm going to Hell...
Well difference between the two is...
Well how God never answered my prayers,
The prayers about me at least...
But I'm not blaming him, God is never to blame.
It's entirely my fault, I'm taking full responsibility for my life being a mess.
But if you're in Heaven,
And I'm praying to him,
Why haven't you sent me a sign or anything?
WHY HASN'T HE SENT ME A SIGN OR ANYTHING?
I wake up unhappy everyday,
I go to bed unhappy every night.
If you're "in my heart" so to speak, why can't I feel your spirit in my time of need?
Why can't I hear your voice when I'm alone?
And I'm ALWAYS alone!
I prayed to God for him to sent you to me in my dreams...
You never came.
I wanna know what you thought about me...
About my life at this very point in time,
About my poetry.
I wanted to know what you thought and tell me if I should keep going because I'm ready to give up...
But I have this little part of me that ends up trying to write something new anyway,
And I'm tired of trying when most of me isn't in it.
And the thing that makes me angry the most?
How weak I am.
How could you give birth to such a weak being?
I am nothing without the world's voice, let alone yours.
AND I HATE IT!
Anything positive I or anyone else tells me feels like a lie
And no matter how much I try to ignore the negative, I just can't.
I even try to embrace it in my poetry,
But when I'm going through these things
Why don't I ever hear from you?
Why don't you ever speak to me when I'm alone?
And I'm ALWAYS alone.
I even prayed to God for you to come to me in my dreams...
You never came.
And the only explanation for that is you could be in Hell.
But if you're with God...
Why haven't you sent me a sign or anything?
WHY HASN'T HE SENT ME A SIGN OR ANYTHING?
Of all people that say anything to me,
I wanna hear from you the most!
Tell me anything, let me know something!
You're ashamed of me, you're proud of me
You love me, you hate me, something...
Just as long as you're being honest with me...
And honestly, we both know you're not proud of me
So don't send anyone on earth to tell me you are...
Because you'll be just like everyone else that lies to me with the same bullcrap
Thinking it'll sound more truthful than the first time...
Like how people tell me I'm talented...
Like how people tell me I'm an amazing guy...
And it won't sound any more truthful than the first time
And it'll only make me angry.
But nonetheless...
I really wish you would say something to me...
Happy Birthday Momma.
Copyright ©
Blackheart
... [
2014-07-20 16:16:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: October 12
(User Rating: 1 )
by nikkib on
Sunday, 20th July 2014 @ 04:33:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I am not sure if this is your true story, My poetry comes from experiences in my life.....If that is the case and this is how you really feel....I want you to know that I admire your ability to put yourself out there with such raw emotional depth. I could feel the anguish in your words. you have a gift of making people feel your words not just read them. |
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Re: October 12
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 20th July 2014 @ 04:35:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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so heartbreaking, so honest.... if i were her- i would tell you that you
are loved and that i didn't want to leave you, wanted to see you grow
and read your poetry and hear about all and everything in your life,
hold you and hug you, and i wanted to be there to tuck you in at night,
tho i wasn't able to, so i love you from afar....
hugs n' love nessa |
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