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Eve, Eve
Contributed by
Dimitriand
on
Saturday, 31st May 2014 @ 08:26:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
Hay, Hello, like crown you have the halo,
Your coloration are profound and attractive too,
Maybe royal in vibration's shine with the defense crowd,
But i like to feel the fabric inside, all threads horizontal and vertical of your way, butterfly's tao,
By needle's eye pass the child's rainbow
And on the sky it is of your service's arrow,
This embroidery when you show,
Blow-up on strings of all real photos,
Under the moon full of fourteen days and yellow,
Therefore i like to hear your cordially radio,
Radiology and scanning tender of your birth and the creation one days old ago,
The law of love without laws,
What it mean, who it know?,
But not your narcissistic snake with the big bang number two
Like leper point grooving on your heart's tissue, no, no, no,
Leafs of fig tree help little beat to you, i hope nevertheless so,
When it is this eclipse above,
Master golden cow,
The red dragon on your white tee-short and worship to common fashion i sow.
Copyright ©
Dimitriand
... [
2014-05-31 08:26:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Eve, Eve
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 31st May 2014 @ 09:19:50 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Pretty cool poem. Sorry, but I can't fathom the primary point or subject of this piece. Is it of a newborn child named Eve?
Enjoyed some of your turns...very good.
"But i like to feel the fabric inside, all threads horizontal and vertical of your way"
"Under the moon full of fourteen days and yellow"
I am not given to assuming a person is seeking any critical observations- we're not ALL on here to become better poets. If you would like my thoughts on how to improve this piece and also your skills as a poet, I am happy to be of service. You have but to send me a message here on YPDC. If not, no offence taken. (not a charge service, my friend....I am genuine in my offer...one poet to another)
Either way, this is a truly groovy poem and I dug the read. Thanks for sharing it!
Invierno |
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Re: Eve, Eve
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 1st June 2014 @ 01:23:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this has truly beautiful images! i love But i like
to feel the fabric inside, all threads horizontal and
vertical of your way, butterfly's tao, wow! what a line!
i'm taking it as she left and was uppity about it, but
you wish her good things,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Eve, Eve
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Monday, 2nd June 2014 @ 02:13:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Sounds like there was, and now there isn't.....Could be totally off the wall with this post, but I liked it. Gives the reader an insight to what one other feels.
brew~ |
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