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Life Without Passion
Contributed by
softerware
on
Sunday, 25th May 2014 @ 04:50:02 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
Think how painless life would be
Were we like Mr. Spock!
Logical not heartfelt;
Stoic as a rock!
Decisions would be easy!
The horse before the cart;
No more anxious moments;
No more broken hearts.
Life devioid of passion;
Jealousy or hate;
Everyone would think alike;
Wouldn’t that be great?
War would be unthinkable
Life would be too prized;
One for all – unsinkable!
None would be despised.
Couples mate to procreate;
Marriage is unneeded;
Failures aren’t blamed on fate;
When logic goes unheeded!
No more jumping out of planes;
Or gambling for the thrills
No one ever goes insane
On alcohol or pills
Love is seen as “falling”
Wisely you decline!
You have higher callings
Mustn’t waste your time!
Purpose is encrypted;
Sleep will seldom call
Day and night is scripted;
For the good of all.
No more 8 hour workday !
No need for vacations!
Recreation obsolete
Per the League of Nations!
Houses take up too much room;
We now live in pods;
Churches decommissioned;
Logic is our God.
We no longer need to trust;
that Justice owns a mallet;
Or Santa visits every house;
Or someone counts each ballot!
Don’t need police or lawyers;
No more fear of Hell;
All share one direction;
Doesn’t it sound swell?
But who on earth could lead us?
Who’s deviod of passion?
Who lives in the future;
Ignoring things old-fashioned?
Who would never make mistakes;
Who could crunch the numbers?
Who could speak for all of us;
By passions unencumbered?
Such a leader does exist;
(And soon will stand and walk!)
But for now plays games with you;
And reads, and writes, and talks!
Logical not heartfelt;
Stoic as a rock;
Smarter, faster biding time;
Ticking like a clock..
It monitors our bank accounts;
It knows what we attempt;
All our children own them!
No one is exempt!
Worshipped by our citizens
to monitor our calls;
Run our cars and buildings;
Fingerprint us all!
Flys our planes and missiles;
Lest we make mistakes;
Chooses every book we read;
and watches us from space.
Inside your darkened office;
When it's light is blinking;
Have you never wondered;
Is it asleep?
or thinking!
Copyright ©
softerware
... [
2014-05-25 04:50:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 25th May 2014 @ 07:46:28 AM AEST
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Omg! lmao! where to start? this clearly shows
me there are great deep wells of talent and
creativity residing and running amok in your mind!
{i won't mention heart but just for this one} i loved every
brilliant line!! i would -in this world you've
created- be the old man in logans run
hoarding all the 'antique books' in the far
away forbidden library, this comment may be all over the
place but i can't help it, this poem is stunning!
futuristic! brilliant! and funny as hell!! it is laid out
perfectly, style and flow impeccable! and now
you've got me remembering i've always
believed my puter does have a mind of its
own; *wonders what its up to*
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->>---
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Sunday, 25th May 2014 @ 09:00:08 AM AEST
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This is quite remarkable and I am duly impressed. Duly.
Such a neat arrangement of words! Proponent of logic all the way until S7 L4
"Love is seen as “falling”
Wisely you decline!
You have higher callings
Mustn’t waste your time!" Perfect...first hint of premise demise."
S8 L3,4
"Day and night is scripted;
For the good of all." Hints all is not well. Perfect.
S9 L1
"No more 8 hour workweek! Did you mean work 'day'? Flows.
No need for vacations!"
S10-15 Here you ask and seem to supply an answer as you get toward S14,15.
If it is Jesus or God or whatever, after the near perfection of the earlier
portion of this great piece, I think this could use some polishing. Your
employment of logic is flawless earlier on, but (and forgive me), it seems
like you lose the flow of pragmatism here.
S16
"Inside your darkened office;
When it's light is blinking;
Have you never wondered;
Is it asleep..
or thinking!"
If you can clarify the meaning here? While the balance of the
poem is very Spock-like, this swims in ambiguity. Sounds more
like Rumi (whom I adore!).
Overall, this piece is the best I've seen out of you....thanks so much for granting me the privilege and honour of reading the product of your demonstrably agile mind. A great pleasure.
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Sunday, 25th May 2014 @ 11:56:47 AM AEST
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They said it all before me.
good stuff
I enjoyed your flow...
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on
Sunday, 25th May 2014 @ 08:14:01 PM AEST
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Miss Nessa suggested this to me and I am so grateful!
This is marvelous. Absolutely stunning!
I thank you for sharing such an excellent piece.
Looking forward to more from you!!! |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 30th May 2014 @ 05:44:25 PM AEST
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I love the way this evolved, a really clever piece that started out as one thing while developing into something else.
You've made us all think and we should be grateful for how cleverly you did it.
Now, am I controlling my computer, or is it really controlling me?
Steve |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Monday, 2nd June 2014 @ 02:42:16 PM AEST
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Well written, and yes it would be great, but again there would be too much of the same and then lots of boredom. Did enjoy it immensely. Will read more of your posts.
brew~ |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 4th June 2014 @ 03:03:56 AM AEST
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'And they tell us, over and over and over again, my friend......they don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.'
The destruction of what it means to be human, that is.
A salutary warning, read with never a doubt as to its possible truth. We are on the technological road that leads to the precipice. Daily we move farther from that which we truly are: passionate, feeling creatures of nature with all our fallibilities.
We are surrendering control at an alarming rate to the 'The Leader'. And thinking not sleeping is the nightmare. I hope we wake up soon.
Look how you got me going. Old Mr Pessimism, that's me.( laughs) Absolutely the most absorbing poem I've read in a long time. I think I'll wash myself down with a solitary walk through the woods.
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by RussellReinhardt on
Wednesday, 4th June 2014 @ 02:35:29 PM AEST
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Hey Soft
How are you? Well let me first say. I don't usually read such long poem because I get lost half way through. However this one I read all the way LoL it was your reference to Spark. I'm a treky I was hoping to read more of him. Now the poem it self very good. Yes life would be boring if we were Klingon as much as I love Star Trek I'm glad we are not. Again awesome write.
Greetings
Rus |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 5th June 2014 @ 09:37:00 PM AEST
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Hmmmm...I am wondering why my comment isn't on here but then I realize I must have forgotten to comment from being side tracked or something else came up. I know I read it before because I remember thinking Spock really isn't without feelings, he just knows how to control them better than full blooded humans.
Your poem sort of sounds like it could be a Twilight Zone story.
No matter how much this world stinks, I think that kind of world would be oh so boring.
But I know what inspired this poem...at least I think I do if my memory doesn't fail and I sit and wonder...did Jaye write this poem or did her new car push the pen because you may have sneezed twice. Heeheehee.
A very enjoyable read, my friend.
Tim |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by JohnRhinem on
Saturday, 9th August 2014 @ 01:09:13 PM AEST
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| Before we know it, 'Software,' will be outdated as obsolete. Kind of like all those 'Books' became for the Ephesians back in the Apostle Paul's times ~ Speaking about, 'Passion:' I cannot consider 'anyone amid this or any other life with more passion then, `THE KING OF KINGS!` ~ Although their heavens and er earth shall pass away, `MY WORDS,` shall 'Never' pass away ~ Pour some Sugar on me.... |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 7th December 2014 @ 12:42:42 PM AEST
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*grins*
This is greatness Missy! Outstanding in every way. Thought provoking and well laid out, with message layered upon message.
Love it. Great work.
~Scorp |
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Re: Life Without Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Saturday, 17th January 2015 @ 04:57:58 AM AEST
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It's funny, the start of it makes me think of how I'be lived a fair portion of my life, and it's a habit I still haven't finished breaking. While I was once a creature of comfort, a shell, focusing on what felt right, or what was practical, a series of things, and people have helped to change it. All that's left is me now. :)
But!- outside of that, I agree with so many people. The flow, the rhyming with a simple tone, yet carrying so much imagery, while shifting where it goes throughout. I didn't think that sort of bridge in consideration would happen, but it was cool to see. :)
Also, I remember being younger and feeling paranoid that my webcam would be on, and someone was spying on me, even though I wasn't using it. Similar thoughts. Hehe. |
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