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A HERO OF DUST
Contributed by
hray42
on
Wednesday, 23rd April 2014 @ 11:59:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
here lies a hero of dust
placed well, under common earth
hollowed behind this gated rust
a soul laid full of a hero's worth
a hero, the best hearted of all
who saved the lives of the misunderstood
a hero, one that took a great fall
here he lies after a life lost for good
a hero, who was the greatest lover
one who made those eyes to cry
a hero of dust, unlike any other
a hero who fell to a darkened sky...
Copyright ©
hray42
... [
2014-04-23 23:59:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A HERO OF DUST
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Thursday, 24th April 2014 @ 07:38:10 AM AEST
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Really cool. Reminds me of old English poetry, which I adore. There is a line indicating you knew this person. (past tense usage) "a hero, who was the greatest lover". He must have been a hell of a guy to engender such love and respect and devotion from another person- you.
You should clean this up some. It borders on being a great piece.
a hero, best hearted of all
who saved lives, misunderstood
a hero, one that took the fall
his life lost for greater good"
or something like that...you get the picture..flow, flow, |
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Re: A HERO OF DUST
(User Rating: 1 )
by RussellReinhardt on
Thursday, 24th April 2014 @ 10:19:37 AM AEST
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Yes Invierno your quite right it is a peace that can be a grate write. I like it. Shows there are still hero's out there and more so there are still people that believe in them. Good job
Greetings
Rus |
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Re: A HERO OF DUST
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 25th April 2014 @ 12:18:20 AM AEST
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beautiful...
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: A HERO OF DUST
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 26th April 2014 @ 12:45:21 PM AEST
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Ooh, I like how visual this was for me. Both revealing, yet veiled. Nicely done!
~Scorp |
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