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What's the difference, anyway?
Contributed by
ArloDisarray
on
Thursday, 10th April 2014 @ 03:16:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The world I once knew disappears
And a new one starts to build itself
But it is no place I want to live
Please, take me anywhere but here
All the things that made me smile
Are now what makes me cry
But what's the difference anyway?
Tears and smiles are both lies
This anger now consumes me
My tears take all control
My memories all break my heart
The future takes my soul
Everything I loved left at the same time.
Everything I see makes me more blind.
Everywhere I stand makes me feel confined.
Every time I think of you, I want to press rewind.
Copyright ©
ArloDisarray
... [
2014-04-10 15:16:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What's the difference, anyway?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Friday, 11th April 2014 @ 05:12:34 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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You have a way of finding awesome words to use. However, you start your poem out one way and end in another and break the flow. You start out not rhyming and end with rhyming. It throws off the reader. I feel you have great potential for writing poetry. Keep up the good work, but decide which style you want to use.
Wayne |
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Re: What's the difference, anyway?
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 12th April 2014 @ 10:54:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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beautifully heartfelt,
hugs n' love nessa
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